Carling Cup: Tottenham To Meet Manchester United In The Final

The recipient of the Egotist of the Week award is …. Jermaine Defoe! Not only was Mr Defoe too busy to appear in court to attend his own appeal against a driving ban, the reason given for his non attendance was a fear of unwanted female attention.

Speaking in his defence his barrister said, “He might not have wanted people to ogle him”. And that was really likely to happen was it? The courts are packed with women desperate to ogle the accused, and Jermaine would obviously be top of their list due to his supreme gorgeousness? Silly boy. Really Jermaine, we’re just not that into you. Sorry.

One last thing: I’ve heard a rumour that when Sir Alex Ferguson leaves the pitch for the great dugout in the sky, Man United plan to erect a clock in his honour. Is this true? I hope not; it would be useless. Who needs a clock that adds seven extra minutes to every 90?!

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