Ronaldo finally did us all a favour and admitted has wanted to move to Real Madrid for years, meaning we can hopefully put the most tedious of transfer stories to bed. But now Fergie has two black suitcases stuffed full of Madrista cash (and it is the close season so there isn’t much else to talk about) what could he spent it on?

Well for starters you could buy 26,755,852 Big Macs – because whenever anyone does a piece like this they compare it to a price of a big Mac, the true international currency!

Or how about 444 Ferrari 599s? So each time Ronaldo crashes one he has plenty spare.

There is always Newcastle United (perhaps minus Michael Owen and Joey Barton to bring reduce baggage and bring the price down). A fairly obvious one, everyone has had a right old chuckle at Newcastle’s expense (again!!) by looking at the tiny £20 million difference in the price of one player and a whole football club. Anyone else see the \’advert’ for the club posted on the United website? It’s like the ones you see in a newsagent window. The drop to the Championship has clearly hit them hard.

Why not Rescue Setanta? A £50 million down payment could be all that is needed to save the \’troubled Irish broadcaster’ (as it is now known) leaving £30 million spare to buy Carlos Tevez. United could then make sure those pesky 12.45 trips to Portsmouth are eradicated and put all the fixtures after Champions League games back a day to help recovery.

Hang on doesn’t that already happen??

Need somewhere to send the WAGS to keep the players free from distractions? Well why not buy the Island of Ilha Paraty, a tropical Island just off the coast of Rio DI Janiero?   The cost? 12,000,000 Brazilian Reals, or 3.8 million quid, so you could buy enough for the first team and substitutes.

Finally, just to show how mad the whole situation is, Fergie could donate it to WaterAid to ensure that roughly 5.3 million people have access to safe water, sanitation and hygiene education.

Has football now lost all its morals???

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