What should have been a happy morning at Danger Here Towers was spoiled when a galaxy of stars squabbled over who should represent the website at the upcoming Irish Web Awards.

Towers chiefs were reacting calmly to news of our nomination for Ireland’s Best Sports site by grabbing an extra hour or six in bed, when all hell broke loose in the HQ’s newly-refurnished snooker wing.

Long-time Cultural Ambassador Steve Sanders has always been on hand for major DH events and despite us not clapping eyes on him for at least three years, he was banging on the Towers portcullis at dawn, having slept on the step all night.

This didn’t amuse long-time Towers Legend in Residence Alf Stewart who (between you and us) is the obvious candidate to represent DH at the ceremony.

When initial attempts by Stewart to “have a yarn with the flamin’ drongo” proved fruitless, the threat of a more final solution loomed large.

Luckily Alf was momentarily distracted by the incessant whining from IT wizard Donal Maher, who had flown in from London where he is working on the Millenium 3000 Bug and faces a number of workplace sexual harassment suits. The silver-tongued integration software salesman was quick to remind Towers management of the key investment that got the company on its feet.

In truth, Maher was easily fobbed off with a Chinese burn but it was rather more difficult to persuade gregarious East Dylan High patron and former Dylan Panthers State champ Buddy Garrity that the awards shindig had come just too soon for him.

Garrity is set to take over Sanders’ cultural role when the Beverly Hills man’s ten-year contract expires in November.

Fortunately, just as matters looked likely to spill over, the arrival of DH house entertainers 3hree for their regular mid-morning performance focussed minds as the celebs immediately become more concerned about the real and immediate threat to the famous DH breakfast buffet.

Big thanks to DH caterer Mr Kipling for restoring sanity.

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