Waddler gets his angles wrong

Published On October 6, 2009 | By Danger Here | Quotes 2009-2010
Chris Waddle

Chris Waddle

During his stint as a brain surgeon, Chris Waddle always carried a sander:

“That came off the corner of Evra’s head.”

MODEL PROS
So complacent were Chelsea at Wigan, Paul Merson spotted them unpacking the winter collection:

“I think they turned up last Saturday and thought it would be a catwalk.”

STUDS UP HEADER
Steve Claridge also had an acute case of foot in mouth:

“Unfortunately they just haven’t had their shooting or heading boots on today.”

ALL THAT JAZZ
“It’s over 40 years since Sunderland won at Old Trafford, Louis Armstrong was top of the league.”

Ray Stubbs forgets to tell us that Gilesy soon knocked Louis off his perch.

IS IT COS I IS OLIVE?
“Some of the comments about Phil, in a different context, would be viewed as racist… criticising the guy because he’s got olive skin is outrageous.”

Hull chairman Paul Duffen believes Phil Brown is the man to lift centuries of oppression against the perma-tanned.

BIG LIFT
No wonder J V of H’s opener for Hull was more than just a confidence boost for Brownie:

“That lifted people’s belief systems.”

ALMOST RIGHT
The lads on the BBC goal ticker get it many shades of wrong:

“14:39 GOAL – Shaun Miller: Crewe 2 – 0 Rotherham
Shaun Miller finds the back of the net with a goal from just outside the box to the top left corner of the goal.”

“Correction – 14:39 GOAL – Kevin Ellison: Crewe 1 – 1 Rotherham
Goal scored by Kevin Ellison from close range to the top left corner of the goal.”

SWIFT TURNAROUND
Steve Bruce doesn’t always practice what he preaches:

“The word great gets used too often but Ryan Giggs is a great, great player.”

WHICH IS IT?
Another lighting u-turn from Kevin Keegan on ESPN:

“Sunderland edged this game by quite a long way for me.”

While Matt Le Tiss also produced an impressive handbrake spin:

“The referee keeps penalising him (Peter Crouch) a couple of times.”

SEE IF I CARE
Graham Taylor isn’t going to be told what he can and can’t see:

“A game behind closed doors is not worth watching.”

SWITCH AT TOP OF THE RIGHT
Good to see Gary Kelly draw on his GAA background for tactical analysis on E3:

“They could have switched over Malouda and McGeady just to see would the left back follow him over.”

But just when is an opportunity upgraded to full chance status?

“Celtic had some great half chances.”

JEFF GETS CARRAWAY
Novel gag from Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday, that naturally went clean over the heads of Merse and co:

“A sending off at Hayes. The referee has thrown the book at Scott Fitzgerald.”

OLD PALS ACT
Given referee Alan Wiley’s much-talked about bonhomie with Alex Ferguson on the Old Trafford touchline a fortnight ago, it was no surprise to see how he summoned Wayne Rooney after his kick at Andy Reid:

“Wazza!”

QUICK ONE-TWOS
That’s no way to talk about the blind, Jon Champion:
“The cynics call him (Dimitar Berbatov) Birtles with a beard.”

Stelling should be sent to Coventry after Sky Blues’ opener:
“Superb 20-yard free kick from Clingan – must have been out of this world.”

An equestrian gem from BBC’s Michael Tucker:
“You have to remember that horses are only human.”

Scott Minto bags tautology crown:
“Newcastle had a lot of players making their debuts tonight. Some of them haven’t played many games for Newcastle at all.”

BBC commentator grabs ball by horns:
“The prospect of playing in the second round of the FA cup is like the carrot at the end of the tunnel.”

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