Tony Cascarino’s verdict on the Thierry Henry handball in the Times.

It’s a matter of conscience. Don’t think I’m ducking the question when I say that it would never have been an issue for me — because I wasn’t a cheat. In that split second last night when the ball dropped for Thierry Henry, tantalisingly close but just out of range of his feet, it would never have occurred to me to stick out my hand and guide it back into my control. I wasn’t that devious.

Hmmm, a quick flick through our well-worn copy of Cas’s fine autobiography Full Time: The Secret Life of Tony Cascarino suggests the big man might well be underestimating himself:

Page 173 – The sequence of events:

• Cas gets fax at Irish team hotel from Virginia confirming she was set to have his baby. A fax, no less.
• Cas shows the fax to Andy Townsend and throws it in the bin. A romantic.
• After the game (1-1 v Norn Iron) wife Sarah recovers the fax. Not pleased.
• Offers Cas outside.
• You bastard! She’s having a baby!
• Sarah, I can explain…
• Go on Cas
• There is no baby. It’s a crazy fan. She’s trying to destroy our lives. Arrrggggghhh.
• Whatttt!!! She buys it.
• Cas visits Andy. “I’ve smoothed it over.”
• How the fuck did you manage that, says Andy, licking mental pencil.
• “I told her it was a fatal attraction,”  grins Cas.
• Cas reflects: “Take a bow Harry Houdini! Wow, what a buzz.”

But Cas would never have thought to stick his hand out as the ball zipped past him.