Bold call by Graeme Souness at Stamford Bridge:

“If you’re going to win the Premier League this season, you’re going to have to finish ahead of these two.”

Darren Gough recommended flossing:

“Wilshere looks like he’s got the grit between his teeth.”

Danny Higgenbotham spotted a mismatch:

“That was about six of a half and another of a dozen.”

Psychic Shaun Derry:

“It looks tough for Palace when you see some of the results they’ve got coming up.”

Ian Abrahams put his foot in it

“Neil Warnock was a chiropodist? He can sort out my back, then.”

How Phil Brown persuades Southend signings:

“You live and die by your player recruitment sword.”

Martin Tyler made a meal out of Man City’s Champions League comeback:

“When the going gets tough, they are of the school of the tough that do get going.”

But Paul Merson warns they won’t be the finished article until Pellegrini drills presumption into them:

“I think Manchester City are going to go and win the Premier League this year, as long as they can get their complacency right.

Shaun Derry’s fears multiply:

“There are rumours of fractions within the Palace dressing room.”

 

BEST DIAGNOSIS

Medicine’s loss is BT Sport commentary’s gain. Watching Mathieu Flamini limp off clutching his groin having returned after concussion, Darren Fletcher backed a hunch:

“That looks like a different injury altogether.”

 

PUNBELIEVABLE JEFF

Leroy Rosenior on Carl Winchester’s strike for Oldham:

“He’s rifled that into the net.”
RADIO GAGA

Talksport caller blows lid off behind the scenes Old Trafford shenanigans:

“I blame Ferguson for not brining in new faces. We’re still sitting on the faces of two years ago.”

 

IN THE BOOK

Mixed reaction to Fergie’s tome…

Lee Dixon held his hands up: “I don’t understand books at all.”

Wayne Rooney came out strong: “I’ve said all along I haven’t really said nothing about it.”

Paul Merson licked it: “I thought it was really, really untasteful.”

While David Moyes is already eyeing his own departure: “I am sure I will (read it) when the time arises. I have not got much time in this job, that’s for sure.”

 

MYSTERY MAN

The World Cup’s not going to be the same for Talksport’s Lisa O’Sullivan:

“We’re going to miss out on Cristiano Ronaldo or Ibrahim Zlatovic.”

 

THE ONE AND ONLY

Paul Merson: “Outavic goes down the left.”

Jeff Stelling: “It’s An-outavic.”

Merse: “There’s only one of em.”

 

OVER THE MOON

Ray Hudson was quite keen on Alexis Sanchez’s chip for Barcelona against Real Madrid:

“He’s off running like he’s got a lobster down his shorts, but then he puts the ceramic brakes on … then takes the gravity of the moon and the planets into consideration and chips this one gloriously. Electric Sanchez, we applaud you!”

 

ROUTE ONE

Journalist: “Any change on the Republic of Ireland situation?”

Mick McCarthy: “No, it’s still in the same place. You can fly from Stansted or Southend on Aer Lingus or Ryanair.”

TWEET RELIEF

Cristiano Ronaldo’s people took an hour or so to panic and delete this:

“Thank you all for participation in the CR7 Boys Underwear Competition – it’s been a real pleasure to see all of your photos.”

 

NAME-DROPPED

Cristiano – the cod, the puffball, the brat, the disgrace – has taken more than his fair share of abuse from RTE over the years. But might Tony O’Donoghue have inflicted the unkindest cut of all?

“Next to Gareth Bale’s Real Madrid…”

 

FLAMIN’ GALAHS

The upsetting business of egg-chasing contamination reared its ugly head on ABC Radio Australia last week, where Tim Gable brought word of Western Sydney Wanderers goalkeeper Ante Covic taking a “goal-line drop-out.”

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