The Week in Guff: Martin Keown takes the ‘word of the day’ honours

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IT’S ONLY WORDS
During Chelsea-West Ham on Five Live, Martin Keown was full of admiration for John Terry’s… “longtivity”

NUMBERS GAME
Thanks to Newstalk, we haven’t been entirely deprived of Gilesy’s wisdom:
“Only four teams can finish in the top four as we know Ger.”

TO HULL AND BACK
Jacqui Oatley on the abrupt end to the Leicester fairytale:
“We should have expected the unexpected in what we expect to be a crazy season.”

WIDE BERTH
Glenn Hoddle: “The wide men are the men who give you the width..”

TAKING NO CHANCES
Rio Ferdinand on Pep Guardiola’s tactics:
“Killing one bird with two stones.”

HART ATTACK
John Hartson: “Results win games. Not systems and tactics”.

COPPING A DEAF UN
Iain Dowie wasn’t paying close attention during the Euros:
‘We didn’t hear ‘Will Grigg’s on fire’ at the Euros, but we’re certainly hearing it now.”

MERSE CODE
Paul Merson is unconvinced Shkodran Mustafi will solve all Arsenal’s problems:
“I think it’s a bit of a Jonathan Ross, if I’m honest. The last resort.”

COLOUR BLIND
John Hartson and Max Rushden on Talksport talking sun tans:
Hartson: “It’s mahogany or what do they call them orange houses?”
Max Rushden: “greenhouses?”

GETTING STUCK IN
Martin Keown: “He’s the glue that makes everything tick.”

BEHAVIOUR BOND
Darren Gough finds opening weekend an arresting spectacle:
“There’s a lot of new players on parole.”

GO YOUR OWN WAY
Actor Mohammed George is impressed with Jamie Vardy’s versatility. He hasn’t seen anything like it since the Kemp brothers signed for Melchester Rovers:
“How much has his career developed from playing with Fleetwood Mac?”

DIFFERENT BALL GAMES

Standards continue to drop on BBC’s Olympic commentary: “Twenty years to the day… give or take.”

Brendan Fraser: “Mo setting the pace from the back.”

Olympic tennis commentator: “When the chips are on the line, Murray rises to the occasion.”

Hobson’s choice for Eddie Brennan in Thurles: “It’s die or burst.”

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