First a sweaty clamber up to high moral territory for Becks.

“Two burly off-duty cops armed with the 21-page document were staking out a New York hotel where the prostitute has been holed up since her three-in-a-bed lies were published in downmarket US magazine In Touch.”

Then a giddy plunge into the depths of the mire for the Roon.

“Tony was understood to have vowed Rooney would never set foot in their house again after his three-in-a-bed vice girl shame was exposed by the News of the World.”

All in a Sunday’s work.

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