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	<title>Football quotes, humour and opinions - dangerhere.com &#187; Alex Ferguson</title>
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		<title>Fergie misses Chelsea game to go showjumping</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-misses-chelsea-game-to-go-showjumping/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-misses-chelsea-game-to-go-showjumping/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Feb 2012 15:44:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Quick One-Twos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=4641</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[How important will it be to avoid four faults at the first, inquires Geoff Shreeves]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Are imaginary yellow cards really so evil?</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/are-imaginary-yellow-cards-really-so-evil/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/are-imaginary-yellow-cards-really-so-evil/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Jan 2012 23:26:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Larry Ryan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larry Ryan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[imaginary yellow card]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roberto mancini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wayne Rooney]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=4458</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Why the great British fear of mime?]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Fergie laughs as Berbatov sulks</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-laughs-as-berbatov-sulks/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-laughs-as-berbatov-sulks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:03:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Video]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Phelan]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=3336</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson and Mike Phelan have a good snigger at miserable Berba's expense.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Alex Ferguson is a miracle worker</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/alex-ferguson-is-a-miracle-worker/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/alex-ferguson-is-a-miracle-worker/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Feb 2010 09:23:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Donal Hanks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Donal Hanks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manchester united]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1908</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Donal Hanks believes United are flattering to decieve... but in a good way.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Furious Fergie refuses to speak to self</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/furious-fergie-refuses-to-speak-to-self/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/furious-fergie-refuses-to-speak-to-self/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:58:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1820</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Manchester United’s preparations for Sunday’s top-of-the-table clash with Arsenal have been left in turmoil after Alex Ferguson slapped a training ground ban on himself and vowed never to speak to himself again. A row erupted at the Carrington training ground between Ferguson and himself after midfield pair Nani and Anderson delayed a planned free kick routine to perform impromptu sack and crack waxes on one another. Ferguson initially rounded on the duo for ignoring Dimitar Berbatov, who had stood in the centre circle with arms outstretched, pleading for an emergency eyebrow wax. “Human beings can always surprise you but I didn&#8217;t expect that. It was shocking. Berba had a fucking unibrow, for fuck’s sake,” remarked Ferguson later. But shocked bystanders were soon amazed when Ferguson turned the hairdryer treatment on himself. “You come on with some nonsense, so you do. Youse are a fucking idiot. Nani knows what he’s doing. It would simply have been unhygienic to treat Berba after that stuff had been up Anderson’s bottle and glass.” Ferguson was already thought to be upset with himself having allowed just 15 minutes injury time at the end of the first half of the morning training match. The game had been held up for some time as Gary Neville sought player signatures on a petition urging Gordon Brown to declare another war on Argentina. “Neville’s conduct has been perfect,” insisted Ferguson. “I was a disgrace, an insult to the five-a-side.” At the Emirates on Sunday, Ferguson is expected to relay messages to himself via assistant Mike Phelan, provided Phelan can be kept awake for the entire 90 minutes. More problematic will be the 15 minutes each morning while Ferguson waits for his eggs to boil, a period during which he tends to speak to himself incessantly. Sources close to the Ferguson household suggest Mrs Ferguson might be willing to be drawn into conversation with her husband to fill the void. But Ferguson himself has giving no indication that he is willing to lift a ban on speaking to his wife, in place since 1996 after some veiled criticism about not taking out the bins.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fergie, the etymologically challenged man</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-the-etymologically-challenged-man/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-the-etymologically-challenged-man/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jan 2010 13:48:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1744</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Will someone please buy Fergie a dictionary. As we all know he has no concept of time &#8211; in his world there is real time that we all use, and Fergietime, which is rather vague and elastic, and which lasts for as long as he says it does. Now it seems he&#8217;s not too sure about other words. Following Man United&#8217;s FA Cup defeat against Leeds, he said, &#8220;The referee gave five minutes, that is an insult to the game and the players out there&#8221; Erm, no Fergie, that wasn&#8217;t an insult, it was a remarkably long period of extra (Fergie) time following a second half with no major stoppages. I&#8217;m guessing the word insult doesn&#8217;t mean what you think it means. No problem, I&#8217;m happy to help alleviate your confusion. The ref coming over and calling you a pompous windbag Or encouraging the Leeds players to drop their shorts and moon your team Or allowing a gang of Liverpool fans to serenade you with the Man U haters song Or inviting Trinny and Susanna onto the pitch to criticise your lack of sartorial elegance, then grab your man-boobs Or telling you Mrs Ferguson had informed him that not only do you snore, but it&#8217;s somewhat reminiscent of a warthog All the above would be insulting. A referee making a legitimate decision during a football match is not an insult, no matter how much you dislike it. Hope that helps.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Managers Say the Funniest Things</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/managers-say-the-funniest-things/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/managers-say-the-funniest-things/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:15:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1391</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Phone-ins and commentary shows were dominated by one main story this weekend: yet another bizarre outburst by that cheeky wag, Sir Alex Ferguson. Come on, he&#8217;s saying these things for a laugh, surely. In what can only be described as a blatant incident of the pot calling the kettle black, Ferguson launched an irrational (and inaccurate) tirade against referee Alan Wiley which proved an even hotter topic for debate than news of Kevin Keegan&#8217;s compensation victory against Newcastle. According to the great red-faced one, Wiley was &#8220;&#8230;not fit enough for a game of that standard&#8221;. Statistics prove otherwise. Although Man U fans did try to defend Fergie, opinion was largely against him, with some uncharitable types suggesting he may have been irked by the relatively short four minutes of extra time, instead of the traditional six allotted when Man U aren&#8217;t winning. I&#8217;m sure those people are wrong though and Man U never receive any kind of advantage, ever. No really. Somewhat overlooked because of Fergie&#8217;s anti-ref rant were the strange utterings of Wolves boss, Mick McCarthy. Speaking after a 0-1 home loss to Portsmouth, McCarthy demonstrated an amazing grasp of basic maths saying, &#8220;If we hadn&#8217;t conceded it would be 0-0&#8230;&#8221;. He also denied his team had been outplayed, even though he admitted they hadn&#8217;t played properly. Hmm. Doesn&#8217;t that mean they were outplayed? Am I missing something?]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fergie and Big Sam gang up on Rafa</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-and-big-sam-gang-up-on-rafa/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-and-big-sam-gang-up-on-rafa/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Apr 2009 09:30:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gallery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Big Sam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[football photoshop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[photoshop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rafa Benit]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1078</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ ]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ronaldo leading Rooney astray?</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/ronaldo-leading-rooney-astray/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/ronaldo-leading-rooney-astray/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:58:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Gallery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ronaldo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rooney]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=626</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kev drives on and other stories</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/kev-drives-on-and-other-stories/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/kev-drives-on-and-other-stories/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:43:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Quotes 2007-2008]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Barry Fry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Derek Whyte]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Motson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kevin Keegan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lawro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Hately]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paul Merson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Hudson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/kev-drives-on-and-other-stories/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[More England keeper trouble, six minute Fergie cries foul, Lawro danger in the workplace and more&#8230; GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION With the miracles slow in coming, destiny might not be so kind to the Geordie Messiah. But with everyone else letting him down, at least Kev retains faith in the coach driver; “We’re still in charge of our own destination.” BLINDING SAVE So England fans thought they had it tough with Paul Robinson. Just wait until Barry Fry gets his way and Norwich’s Joe Lewis is in goal; &#8220;He will play for England Under-21s with his eyes closed.&#8221; MISSING THE POINT A cautionary tale from Oakwell for anyone tempted to give Lawro a job in Health &#38; Safety; Motty: “The referee tells him he has to change his shirt if there’s blood on it.” Lawro: “What, even if it’s red? Can you explain that to me?” SPEAKING MERSE On Philippe Senderos: “I always think, bang, he does something out of the extraordinary.” On United’s cup exit: “Portsmouth got the run of the green.” WRONG IN EVERY SENSE “In a word, who’s going to win this one?” Derek Whyte: “Newcastle United.” THE SHORTEST GAME Lord Ferg bemoans the six-minute match gone wrong; “I think the game was decided when Ronaldo’s penalty was refused.” BEST LORD FERG IMPRESSION Ray Hudson during Atlético Madrid-Barcelona; “It&#8217;s onside, linesman, keep your flag down. Your village is missing their idiot.” FISH NOR FOUL Mark Hateley on the Scottish title chase; &#8220;Last year&#8217;s race was a bit of a damp squid.&#8221; Read more of the weekend’s guff in the Champions pullout in today’s Irish Examiner]]></description>
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