“But now I realise, after all the support I’ve got, that it wasn’t my fault. It was an unlucky situation with big consequences for Ireland. But it wasn’t our referee team’s fault.”

So says Martin Hansson, the referee at the centre of the Thierry Henry dual handball incident. Not entirely sure who he thinks is to blame, must be whoever was in charge of noticing deliberate fouls and blowing a whistle to stop the game, oh hang on a minute … wouldn’t that be Hansson’s referee team?

Unsurprisingly, Ref-hater General, Sir Alex Ferguson has waded into the controversy, using the incident as evidence of the need for video replays during football matches. I think he’s right, but Fifa have other ideas. That’s the same Fifa which is headed by Sepp Blatter, the man who suggested women footballers should wear hotpants and bikinis.

I think that gives us some idea of which era he’s living in. Poor old dear probably doesn’t even realise there are such things as video machines. I expect he’s still getting to grips with that new-fangled wireless thingy.

Sepp, lovey, it’s 2009, we have this incredible thing called di-git-al tech-nol-o-gy. Try it, it’s great! One click and you can play footage back in an instant. Oh, and you can also use it to watch those old John Wayne films chaps of your, umm, maturity love so much ;-)

Finally, here’s a photo of Sunderland’s Nyron Nosworthy in a silly hat. He thinks he looks stylish.

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