There are still a couple of weeks until the English Premier League 2009/2010 season kicks off, and fans are waiting with bated breath. Of course, none of us know how this season will pan out, but based on past events, I thought I’d make a few predictions about things that might, or might not happen. Looking into my crystal ball I see …

MEX CONFE ERIKSSON

Sven Goran Erikkson will reveal he really took the job of director of football at Notts County because he heard of the city’s disproportionately large female population.

Rafael Benitez will realise his ridiculous beard makes him look like a pantomime pirate.

Didier Drogba will fall over, a lot.

Michael Owen will play six brilliant games for Man U, before an injury picked up while buttering a slice of toast renders him unfit for the rest of the season.

Sir Alex Ferguson will reveal who he thinks Man United’s biggest rivals are by constantly dismissing them as ‘not a threat’.

Arsene Wenger will be angered when Fergie doesn’t dismiss Arsenal as ‘not a threat’.

Oh, and Liverpool will win the title. Oh no, that’s not a prediction, it’s wishful thinking.

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