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 Total and utter control. Oh there's a loose one. Danger here.....

Week 8. Ronglish: Back for more 
OK, there's a few of you out there who - despite qualifying with flying colours from the Commentating Institute - still don't feel quite ready for the onerous task of keeping Peter Drury quiet. 

To boost your confidence further, here's another 3 Ronglish weapons for your armoury of guff. 
 
For fun
Ron's philosophy on life is simple. Do what you enjoy. Hence champagne quaffing, sunbed lounging, and gold shopping feature heavily in any Atkinson itinerary. Therefore, when Ron sees a footballer doing something over and over, he can only presume the lad is enjoying himself.

Ron might say:
Tell you what, Clive, the little fellow on the left is going past Dixon for fun tonight.

Mrs. Ron might say:
Bless my soul, Ron, you've been tucking into those Kiplings for fun today. Don't tell me you've not even left me a French Fancy.

Ronglish points: *****
Though many football pundits seem to be joyless fellows - particularly former Irish internationals with surnames like Stapleton, Houghton, or Bonner - all these lads know how to let their hair down of a Tuesday night in the Majystic. Hence "for fun" has become a commentating staple and is particularly popular with Andy "Dancing Shoes" Gray.

Curly finger

Ron loves nothing more than a tactical substitution. Firstly, of course, he has to call it. At the slightest hint of activity on the benches, Ron will use his managerial nous and renowned ability to lean out of the gantry to see who's warming up, to give it the full gun with loads of "Tell you what, Clive, he might just pull off the big front man and get more bodies in the engine room" type guff. 

Then when the switch is actually made, Ron is quick to register his amusement at the departing player's misfortune.

Ron might said:
Yep, I was right, Clive, big Heskey's getting the curly finger all right. 

Mrs Ron might say:
For God's sake, Ron, I don't care if Marshey wants you to sing another one. If you're not home in twenty minutes, I'm going to march down there and give you the curly finger. 

Ronglish points: **
Has never really caught on as it should, the "curly finger". Pedestrians like Welsh and Parry still blather on about early showers and the like, while the more adventurous talk about "getting the hook", but this one is pure Ron.   

Playing from amnesia

Somewhat surprisingly, given his own gainful employment through his golden years, ageist Ron is quick to have a pop at veterans he reckons may well have outlived their usefulness.

Ron might say:
The little ginger fella's done him no favours with that ball but, tell you what, Clive, Blanc looks like he's playing from amnesia out there.

Mrs Ron might say:
Bloomin eck, Ron, will you put that banjo away - racket you're making, I reckon you're playing from amnesia.

Ronglish points: ***
Maybe it's just that most pundits have yet to experience much in the way of memory loss - Bobby Robson doesn't do much of that type of work - but this one hasn't taken off. In an ironic twist, Ron may well have forgotten it himself as we haven't heard it for manys a year.


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