And who pops up in the box? Yours truly, Alan Shearer. 
Colin Hendry
 
           
 

 Total and utter control. Oh there's a loose one. Danger here.....

Week 7. Nouveau Ronglish - A developing language 

No one can ever suggest that Ronglish is dead. Conscious of the thirst for knowledge out there among his legions of fans, Ron is forever modernising the language's extensive vocabulary. Thanks to our eagle-eared readers, we can now bring you a new lesson featuring 3 pieces of Nouveau Ronglish.  

 
14. watching cartoons
Very much a fan of the sun, Ron's devotion to perfecting his distinctive Tangoman colouring leaves little time for sitting around watching television. However, when he does have a few minutes to spare, Ron loves to catch up with his favourite Tom and Jerry episodes. Hence, when the big man witnesses any outlandish acts on the field of play, he reckons the protagonists involved have also been taking their cues from his heroes.  

Ron might say: Tell you what, Clive, he's been watching cartoons if he thinks he can beat Barthez from there. 

Mrs Ron might say: Well I never, Ron. You've been watching cartoons if you think I'm going to wear that. 

Ronglish points: **

Sadly, cartoons are rarely shown at the bars and golf courses at which most co-commentators spend their days. So this piece of Nouveau Ronglish hasn't the some resonance for most men of the mic.

15. sound of the trumpets

It's not widely known that Ron keeps a host of model armies in the cellar of one his Marbela retreats, regularly restaging many of the world's most famous battles. His favourite tactic is of course a good old-fashioned cavalry charge and this often comes to mind during commentary when a team makes a bold tactical switch. 

Ron might say :
Tell you what, Peter. I think they're going to pull off the little full back, stick the big man up the front and go to the sound of the trumpets.

Mrs Ron might say around 2 am: Blimey Ron, you been at the beans again, I can't get a wink of sleep with you going to the sound of the trumpets.

Ronglish points: **
Of course little George Hamilton also has a bedroom stocked with toy soldiers and it's only a matter of time before he pulls this one out as Ireland try to salvage something late in a game.

16. reducers
Though not a violent man, even Ron accepts the need for a bit of argy bargy ever now and again. This classic piece of Nouveau Ronglish refers to the type of "introductory" challenges defenders like to dish out to potential amusement arcades early on in a game.

Ron has say: Babbel might want to put a few reducers into Pires early on.

Mrs Ron might say around 4am:  Ron, you don't stop going to the sound of the trumpets, I'll have to stick a few reducers into you.

Ronglish points: ****

Can see this becoming one of the Ronglish greats with blood thirsty co-commentators like Gray and Kamara giving it loads of reducing.