Well maybe not. But with the social networking site becoming the latest national obsession Tom Mallows’ thoughts drifted to the conversations that could have occurred last week…

Update: For those Googlers actually looking for Ronaldo’s Twitter, here it is:

This is his recent statement about his new baby:

“It is with great joy and emotion that I inform I have recently become father to a baby boy.

As agreed with the baby’s mother, who prefers to have her identity kept confidential, my son will be under my exclusive guardianship.

No further information will be provided on this subject and I request everyone to fully respect my right to privacy (and that of the child) at least on issues as personal as these are.”

Back to Tom’s article:

Stuart Atwell (comedy referee)
Wednesday 4:45pm : Big game for me tonight, Wigan v West Ham, chance for me to show everyone how good I am.
Wednesday 10:00pm: Bury against Rochdale for me this weekend, damm it.

Ashley Cole
Wednesday 6:00pm: Night out with the rest of the Chelsea boys tonight, I can do whatever I like while the wife’s halfway up a mountain, she will never know…
Thursday 06:00am: Just got in, can’t remember what happened last night, hope Cheryl doesn’t find out.
Thursday 9:00am: Just seen the papers…Cheryl will find out.

Rafa Bentiez
Tuesday 4:00pm: Yes Parry’s gone!! Now finally I can sign who I want! Right where’s Hicks ….
Tuesday 5:00pm: Sell before I can buy! Right, get out, where are those rich Kuwaitis…
Tuesday 6:00pm: Tonight’s team news, Yossi, scored the winner in the Bernabeu? Yeah you’re dropped son.

Arsene Wenger
Sunday 6:00pm: Won 3-0, but I don’t like playing on a Sunday, I said I wanted to play on a Saturday.
Sunday 6:05pm: Eduardo scored a great goal, but the guy who tackled him 12 months ago should be banned for ten games. In fact, anyone who injures my players should be banned for ten games.

Lee Hughes
10:00am: Got drunk last night, got someone in a headlock, can’t remember who it was though.
11:00am: It was the boss….oops.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Steven Taylor
Ronaldo   – Wednesday 7:50pm: You’re a rubbish footballer
Taylor – Wednesday 7:52pm: You’re ugly
Ronaldo – Wednesday 7:53pm: Well, you’re a rubbish footballer.
Taylor – Wednesday   7:55pm: You’re Ugly
And so on………………..

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