Quotes of the week: Tyler sneaks Pool up the table

Published On February 23, 2010 | By Danger Here | Quotes 2009-2010

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CITY AT A STANDSTILL
Martin Tyler might think he can get away with whatever he likes on the International feed but our Dutch spies spotted some mathematical trickery during Manchester City-Liverpool.

“A draw will take Liverpool level on points with City.”

LIVING IN THE PAST
An impatient Paul Merson has bad news for hopeful Gunners:

“Arsenal’s not about four years time, Arsenal’s about yesterday.”

ROYLE FAMILY JEWELS
It takes a lot to get Joe Royle excited but the sight of Ricardo Fuller’s studs ripping Jamie O’Hara’s shorts and providing a brief glimpse of underpants got him all misty-eyed:

“Wow, long time since I’ve seen that!”

WHISPER IT
Paddy Mulligan turned a deaf ear to Wolves’ chances:

“I’d expect Chelsea to win by a goal or two but whether they do or not is a very mute point.”

THE NEW MAGELLAN
It’s safe to say Tommy Mooney’s role at the Birmingham youth academy doesn’t extend to taking geography classes:

“We used to go around Europe every year, but this year we went to Norway and Austria.”

DROP THE DEBT
There was some good news for Arsenal during the week. Eamon Dunphy has magically done a Bono with the £300m odd they owe for the Emirates:

“They have no debt!”

GOOD RETURN
According to Daniel Mann, Alan Pardew has been asking for more than 110 per cent from his players:

“Lambert has scored 60 per cent of all of Southampton’s goals, but I wonder how many of the other 60 per cent he has set up.”

BREAKING NEWS
Does Stephen Alkin have a direct line to Trap?

“Kevin Doyle, Kevin Foley and Stephen Ward will all be hoping they are named in Giovanni Trapatonni’s squad on Monday for the friendly against Brazil.”

Around 87 fruitless minutes for Doyler later:

“A frustrating afternoon for the man who will be named on Monday for Ireland’s friendly against Brazil.”

MY DECISION
Lou “Lucifer” Macari does what Lou Macari wants:

“My man of the match is Cesc Fabregas. He hasn’t been great, but he’s my choice.”

READING BETWEEN THE LINES
Mere mortals simply listen. Premier Soccer Saturday pundits hear what they want to hear:

Alex Ferguson: “Maybe we left something in Milan. We looked very tired.”
Ray Houghton: “Fair play to Sir Alex. He could have come out and made excuses for the players about Tuesday night in Milan but he didn’t.”

YOU LITTLE RIPPER
Evidence mounts that Harry Kewell might have a kangaroo loose in the top paddock:

“I don’t know Thierry (Henry) personally, but he’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.”

MOVING STATUES
Paul Merson knows where Martin Hansson went wrong in Porto:

“He might not be in the way, but he’s still in the way.”

UNDER PAR
And the Merse has a rather peculiar idea about what happens on the golf course:

“I think he’s (Joe Cole) chasing the game at the moment. He’s playing like a golf game. You get a bogie, now I’ve got to get a birdie and hit a worldy pass.”

SUNSHINE BOY
Alan Brazil hams it up:

“Phil Brown gets stick for his Parma tan.”

WASHED UP
A caller to Today FM’s Premier League Live insisted the flooding on Leeside has damaged the integrity of the League of Ireland.

“Cork City are floating the rules.”

SIXTH SENSE
Lee Dixon is all ears:

“Let’s see if we can lip-read and hear what he said.”

IDLE HANDS
If John Salako can be believed, the Cardiff keeper had been poorly briefed:

“Peter Enckelman’s had nothing to do. Twice he’s had to pick the ball out of the back of the net.”

Spotter’s badges Fergal Cunningham and Neil Ardiff

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  1. Pingback: More grief for Cork City - | Football quotes, humour and opinions – dangerhere.com

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