MINISTER FOR INNOVATION
In recent times so many people have struggled for a word that adequately describes Chelsea. He might have had to venture slightly beyond the confines of the Oxford-English, but Paul Merson has finally came up trumps:
“Ludious.”
BARE BONES
What a job Paul Lambert is doing at Norwich, particularly when you consider his squad is a little stretched and attendances aren’t all that great either:
“The game is all about players and fans. They are the two most important people at the club.”
DEFINITELY MAYBE
Alan Shearer is as certain as he’s ever been about anything:
“Carlton Cole was a definite probably before his injury, now I’m not so sure.”
DEED POLL
Rather fundamental adjustment at St Andrews, according to Tony Jones:
“Change of approach for Birmington…”
SHORT MEMORY
The goldfishes were happily swimming between Chris Kamara’s ears at West Ham:
“…goalkeeper Sorensen blocked his shot. But it’s really been a nervy performance here. Neither goalkeeper has had a save to make.”
THIERRY AT IT AGAIN
At the Nou Camp in midweek, Sky’s David Phillips was careful to use the medically precise approach to limb identification:
“Flano connected with Henry’s foot there, his left-handed foot.”
GOOD, BAD & INDIFFERENT
Next on the agenda for Phillips was a bold bid for Gilesy’s Old-Football-Cliché-You-Just-Invented-On-The-Spot crown:
“The old football cliché… if a good side play badly and win they’re not a bad side.”
Before failing entirely to keep pace with Dani Alves:
“He’s going at full hilt.”
ASK ANDREY
More matter of fact responses to fan questions on arshavin.eu:
Can A.A. jump out of my birthday cake?
Arshavin: “It’s unlikely; I’m a football player, not a minstrel or a clown.”
IRON WILLIES
David Dunn impresses Phil Thompson with both quantity and quality:
“His groins! He seems to just pick up things.”
DIXONFIRE
The nineties were slightly less frisky times at the top of the Premier League but John Terry might still be interested in doing business if Lee Dixon is selling:
“I had a groin that lasted me a season and a half.”
FOREGONE CONCLUSION
Why did Pompey fans bother to turn up at White Hart Lane on Saturday after the message \’Arry got midweek:
“Avram sent me a text today saying I hope you win every game except the semi-final.”
SUMMERTIME
The clocks went forward a lot more than an hour in John Delaney’s house:
“Wednesday nights have been moved to Tuesday.”
BLACKOUT
Strictly speaking, Bernard Flynn was bemoaning some of the poor quality GAA games on our screens, but he may well have happened across a universal sporting problem:
“There’s nothing worse than when you watch some games with no television cameras there.”
HATS OFF
Slowly but surely, the Merse is getting there:
“He’s headed it, with his well… head obviously.”
MRPRACTICALITY
Many experts suggest Merse should have a lot more England caps to his name. But perhaps there’s a reason for everything:
“He’s an international player Mascherano. It’s poor play. He should just hack him down.”
QUICK ONE-TWOS
Dave Woods warms of menacing Lille midfielder Eden:
“Hazard is their danger-man.”
Staying up is a big ask for Portsmouth’s Tommy Smith:
“It’s pretty much impossible, but it’s still do-able”
Dean Windass delves deep in his encyclopedic football mind:
“Nicky Forster making his debut from whatever club he’s been at. I don’t know… whatever club.”
Bobby Gould puts his head in the clouds:
“They’re living in land cuckoo land.”
Jon Champion acclaims Arsene Wenger’s favourite striker:
“Kevin Phillip’s 250th league goal against Arsenal.”
Spotter’s Badge to Barry Leahy
Comments are closed.