STREET SPIRIT

Though grown-ups might  look at him with fright, fans of guff all love Paul Merson so:

“Oh, he’s hit the Casper”

Jeff Stelling: “What…”

Merse: “Casper the friendly post.”

Hat’s off.

PARTIZAN MERSEYSIDE

All credit to Kenny Dalglish, he has settled immediately back into the Liverpool way:

“If they find a better man for the job, I will not be objective in any way, shape or form.”

MAN OF MANY WORDS

Kevin Keegan identified some particularly loquacious footage of Avram Grant at the end of West Ham-Arsenal:

“A picture paints a thousand words, it was goodbye.”

BLADDERED

Jimmy Magee called last orders after Nicolas Anelka flicked the second at the Bridge:

“The ball staggered like a leather drunk over the line.”

GOD COMPLEX

Tired, at this stage, of simply remembering things, Jimmy is now focussed on making them up:

“Anelka, the man they used to call the divine sulk.”

YOU DO THE MATT

Matt Le Tiss was pressed for a prediction on Blackpool’s finishing position:

“Between ninth and eleventh.”

It was left to Jeff Stelling to join the dots: “So tenth?”

CUTTING YOUR CLOTH

New Crystal Palace gaffer Dougie Freedman made an immediate start on his downsizing operation:

“It’s a huge risk, of course it’s a huge risk, but sometimes in life you’ve got to take small risks.”

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX

Tony Cottee is baffled by Blackpool’s outlandish approach to Premier League progress:

“They almost sort of try and outscore the other team.”

BEATEN DOCKET

Mixed news for Spurs fans on the Sky Sports website, which reveals Harry Redknapp is still chasing:

“…the former 35-year old midfielder Beckham”.

SIGHT FOR SORE EYES

From now on ESPN will supply Chris Waddle with safety goggles when Arsenal are in town:

“They are frightening on the eye at times.”

MAN RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE

Some say a referee is doing his job if you don’t notice he’s there. Jonathan Pearce doesn’t agree:

“He’s had a good season, the referee, in games I’ve seen him play.”

HOME AND DRY

Warren Barton knows a winning position when he sees one:

“You’ve got to win your home games particularly when you get the winner in the 89th minute.”

UNFORGETTABLE

Before Ipswich’s Carling Cup semi-final with Arsenal, ex-player Alan Brazil fondly recalled the club’s memorable FA Cup win in 1978.

“I remember, more than the cup final, the semi-final v West Brom at Highbury. That was one hell of a game.”

Big Al’s co-host: “3-1 wasn’t it?”

“I can’t remember.”

WHERE THE ONE-EYED MAN IS KING

Magnificent exchange between’s ESPN’s \’announcers’ on Knicks-Lakers in the NBA:

“I swear that guy has eyes on the back of his head, on the side of his head and on his shoes.”

“They should call him the Cyclops.”

QUICK ONE-TWOS

Five Live’s Ian Dennis is set for a move to Stokes Kennedy Crowley:

“3-1 to Stevenage… and that is a true reflection of the scoreline.”

***

The forever young Warren Barton:

“An FA Cup run can really juvenate you.”

***

Impossible is nothing for Ian Wright:

“The thing about Drogba is that he scores when he doesn’t even play, if that’s possible.”

***

It all ends up in the same place for Micky Quinn:

“He’s going to eat all the drink.”

***

You’re right Mark Saggers, it is a little clunky:

“I hate this phrase, but the judge was out on him.”

***

The red mist came down again in Mike Parry’s games room:

“Making predictions is like throwing a dartboard at the fixture list.”

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