THE WEEK IN GUFF

Niall Quinn praises the unusual investment strategy of Cardiff owner Vincent Tan:

“He’s put his money to the wheel.”

Cardiff City Stadium brought out Quinny’s masochistic streak:

“I’ll come to any game here that Sky want me to, because it’s just been an exasperating day.”

Alan Smith stirred by clash of Denmark’s Daniel Agger and American Brad Guzan:

“Good British challenge that.”

Jon Champion remains the most reliable judge of a two-legged European tie:

“Two-one wouldn’t be as bad as two-nil.”

Big Ron’s opening gambit on Celebrity Big Brother:

“The one thing I don’t like in life is stupidness.”

Trevor Francis welcomes Montolivo’s appointment as AC Milan captain.

“That’s another fillip for his bow.”

Paul Merson under the weather again:

“They don’t want to go to the Emirates without the wind behind their belts.”

Perry Groves suspects Gareth Bale will be walking on air in Madrid:

“He has been levitated to the status of one of the best players in the world.”

John Terry with the definitive preview of tonight’s Old Trafford action:

“A result will be a good result for both sides.”

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PUNBELIEVABLE JEFF

“Kamil Zayatte will have the hump about that…”

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CV OF THE WEEK

RTE have struggled up to now to pin down Richie Sadlier’s biggest claim to fame, trying out a range of modest boasts on his name captions during punditry outings. But during last week’s Champions League action they seemed to have settled on a winner:

sadlier

But then Richie himself tweeted an even better idea:

“Next week on Celtic CL game; “Richie Sadlier: BMX All-Ireland Champion 1987 AND 1988” (I actually was!).”

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DICTIONARY CORNER

Paul Ince is worried about his son:
“I don’t want Thomas to go to a club and sit on the bench as that would hampen his development.”

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SPEAKING IN TONGUES

Chris Kamara’s best effort at Sunderland’s Emanuele Giaccherini (Jack-a-reeni),

“Guy-a-chan-elli”

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THE SCHOOL OF SCIENCE

Michael Owen’s verdict on Lukas Podolski’s first goal, rattled high into Fulham’s goal:

“On this surface it flies into the roof of the net.”

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RULES IS RULES

Good news for guff fans: BT Sport have reverted to using American commentators for its MLS coverage. This weekend, the ‘colour guy’ on Whitecaps-Galaxy spotted a handball in the box, but wasn’t getting too excited:

“The new rules everyone seems to be going off is it has to be intentional.”

 

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