THE UNTOUCHABLES

Just 10 days PR (Post Ramsey) and Arsenal’s bid to redefine football is escalating further:

“Nasri tonight was touched.”

Outrageous!

DELIBERATE HANDBALL

At least Alan Shearer spotted Theo Walcott concentrating on his own game:

“Second half he picked his balls.”

DOMESTIC WAGER

Iain Dowie  tends to cause quite a disturbance when he pops down his local bookie:

“I wouldn’t put my kitchen sink on them, but worth a flutter.”

VOICE OFEXPERIENCE

Dr Charlie Nicholas completes another flawless diagnosis:

“I’ve had a broken leg and it’s painful.”

NO MIRACLE CURE

The BBC had a shock for  home  fans ahead of  Sweden’s visit to  Swansea:

“Ramsey Ruled Out Of  Wales  Clash.”

SMALL SETBACK

Less seasoned observers might see going behind in the 72nd minute as part of the Mick McCarthy master plan, but Chris Waddle’s astute football brain wasn’t so sure:

“That’s not what Wolves wanted.”

EAMO SAVES THE EURO

Eamon Dunphy makes German economists’ day by relocating Panathinaikos and  Athens  to  South America:

“Gilberto Silva has gone back to play domestic football now in  Brazil.”

ALL IN THE HEAD

On Off The Ball,  Johnny “Sigmund” Giles  had a theory and he was sticking to it:

“Concentration is a mind thing.”

NOT SO RARE TREAT

Why does one get the feeling every day is pancake day for Talksport’s Mickey Quinn?

“I had a good day yesterday and it wasn’t even Pancake Thursday.”

MUCH ADO ABOUTNOSFERATU

At the Bernabeu, mixed metaphor champ Ray Hudson  greeted van der Vaart’s winner in familiar jumbled fashion:

“The Dutchman sinks his fangs in and draws sweet blood. Astonishing scenes of absolute Shakespearean drama here.”

ROCK BOTTOM

It wasn’t all plain sailing for Real though. At two-nil down,  Hudson  could see the cracks appearing:

“Lady Luck turning her big cellulite backside towards Real Madrid tonight.”

RECAP

Can you go through that one more time for us Gilesy?

“You see, concentration is a mental thing, Owen.”

Think we have it now.

DEFENSIVE CONSTIPATION

In case you were wondering why most teams post a couple of defenders near the Emirates lavatories, Matt Le Tiss had the inside track:

“You’ve got to stop Arsenal in their motions.”

PISS ARTIST

Just like Craig Bellamy, Alan Brazil would do well to heed what they say about people in glass houses:

“I didn’t think Hampden would patch the piss inspection.”

SIXTH SENSE

Even as a player Bobby Gould’s vision was second to none:

“Jamie O’Hara has been brilliant on the recordings I’ve seen of him on the radio.”

LOST IN TRANSLATION

On Today FM,  David Fairclough  got stuck in dictionary corner:

“I think  Liverpool  need to be more outgoing. Benitez is taking a kind of watchword approach to things.”

TRY AGAIN RONNIE

Ronnie Whelan is asked for some standout names from  Brazil’s 1970 World Cup side:

“Garrincha.”

FAINT PRAISE

Roberto Martinez  hailed a quick cameo from United’s Serbian:

“Vidic  was  absolutely brilliant tonight, from the first minute to the second.”

QUICK ONE-TWOS

Jimmy  Magee hands out a ticket:

“One yellow plus another yellow equals red. And if you don’t stop at the  traffic lights, that’s too bad.”

If only we heard from Paul Scholes more often:

“Scoring goals is what you need to do to win games.”

Rob “The Etymologist” McCaffrey pays tribute to Alessandro Diamante:

“He’s got one of the sweetest left foots in football.”

Arsene performs successful exploratory op on Theo:

“I believe he has not only a football brain but he has a brain.”

Nigel  Worthington is baffled:

“I find it difficult to understand that a player doesn’t want to play for  Northern Ireland.”

Guy Mowbray  raises the alarm:

“Villa are attacking their own supporters.”

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