Football quotes, humour and opinions

Posted by chef on March 10th, 2008 in Week in Guff

More England keeper trouble, six minute Fergie cries foul, Lawro danger in the workplace and more…

GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

With the miracles slow in coming, destiny might not be so kind to the Geordie Messiah. But with everyone else letting him down, at least Kev retains faith in the coach driver;

“We’re still in charge of our own destination.”

BLINDING SAVE

So England fans thought they had it tough with Paul Robinson. Just wait until Barry Fry gets his way and Norwich’s Joe Lewis is in goal;

“He will play for England Under-21s with his eyes closed.”

MISSING THE POINT

A cautionary tale from Oakwell for anyone tempted to give Lawro a job in Health & Safety;

Motty: “The referee tells him he has to change his shirt if there’s blood on it.”
Lawro: “What, even if it’s red? Can you explain that to me?”

SPEAKING MERSE

On Philippe Senderos:
“I always think, bang, he does something out of the extraordinary.”
On United’s cup exit:
“Portsmouth got the run of the green.”

WRONG IN EVERY SENSE

“In a word, who’s going to win this one?”
Derek Whyte: “Newcastle United.”

THE SHORTEST GAME

Lord Ferg bemoans the six-minute match gone wrong;
“I think the game was decided when Ronaldo’s penalty was refused.”

BEST LORD FERG IMPRESSION

Ray Hudson during Atlético Madrid-Barcelona;
“It’s onside, linesman, keep your flag down. Your village is missing their idiot.”

FISH NOR FOUL

Mark Hateley on the Scottish title chase;
“Last year’s race was a bit of a damp squid.”

Read more of the weekend’s guff in the Champions pullout in today’s Irish Examiner