What Ricky will miss out on, Ronnie’s geography, Welsh woe, Jewell philosophy.

Man City’s Nedum Onuoha was convinced the prospect of shooting practise with Darius Vassell and Jo will be enough to swing the Kaka deal:
“I think we would learn from him as much as he would learn from us.”

EASTERN PROMISE
Meanwhile, Ronnie Whelan was hailing City’s possible coup on Today FM – and was first to break the news of Abu Dhabi’s slight relocation:
“We all knew there was money in the Far East.”

WALES FEELING THE PINCH
No such largesse in the valleys these days, where the economic crisis is really starting to bite for BBC Wales pundit Leighton James:
“That’s the 64 dollar question.”

MOTORING ON
At Deepdale on Saturday, Steve Cotterill was impressed with how the home side avoided getting bogged down in midfield congestion:
“Preston have an overpass in the middle of the pitch.”

NEVER SAY NEVER
Paul Jewell cements his status as one of the game’s great philosophers:
“Isn’t that always the way sometimes?”

PROPER CHARLIE
As Charlie Nicholas knows, “priorities come first.” No wonder Nemanja Vidic is a man after his own heart:
“He’s probably the best defensive centre-back in the world.”

LIES AND DAMN STATISTICS
After eighty minutes of Chelsea – Hull, the BBC Final Score shot count read “34 – 3” in the Blues’ favour. Reporter Andrew James’ verdict:
“Stoke look comfortable here.”

PULLING IT OUT OF THE BAG
Big Phil sent for young substitute Miroslav Stoch and must have wondered what he was rummaging for on the bench. James had his own ideas:
“He’s only got ten minutes experience under his bag.”

JUMPING THE GUN
Hull fans seemed to get a little carried away on Saturday evening:
“Cockneys, Cockneys, what’s the score?”
Er, 1-1 actually.

BARCA IN SPACE
On Gol TV, Roy Hudson introduced Leo Messi as “The greatest player on earth.” Around 20 minutes later, he was hailing an out-of-this world performance from Dani Alves.
“This boy might be the best player in Barcelona.”

OUT ON A LIMB
Peter Drury takes a roundabout approach to identifying a kick on the calf:
“He has just taken a nasty one on the back of the shin.”
At least it was closer than Frank Stapleton’s famous diagnosis:
“He’s got a knock on his shin there, just above the knee.”

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