Poor old Man City, no one seems to take them seriously at the moment, writes Tom Mallows

A host of footballing names have taken it in turns to slag the club off after their admittedly ridiculous bid to sign Kaka for a trillion pounds a week fell flat on its face. Even Kaka himself had a dig according to the Mirror:
“Not even for 3 seconds did I think about going to Manchester City”

Oh dear.

The Mirror also reports that the Brazilian held an impromptu party at his apartment to celebrate the end of City’s interest in him. Well narrowly avoiding having to play alongside Darius Vassell in a relegation battle is a good enough reason to celebrate than any.

Former Italy coach Arrigo Sacchi also put the boot in, just for the hell of it I think, after it was reported Robinho ran away from a City training camp and flew back to Brazil. The former Italy coach said:
“Robinho clearly made a mistake: no one can leave Real Madrid to go to Manchester City”

Fair enough.

You may expect Flavio Briatore, as owner of QPR, to give a bit of support to another British club:
“Even with Kaka Manchester City wouldn’t have gone anywhere. They were completely mad.”

I guess not then.

You can always rely on Wigan chairman Dave Whelan to have a no nonsense opinion to such matters, and he didn’t let me down.

“If some Arabian fellas or oil-rich sheikhs come in and pay £90m for a player,that is totally barmy.”

Too right Dave, and I bet they don’t like pies either.

Meanwhile City executive chairman Garry Cook was keen to put the record straight about why they wanted to buy Kaka for over £100 million and were willing to pay him £500,000 a week:
“The perception that we are out there throwing money around is simply not true.”

Of course Garry.

He continued: “We talked a lot about a humanitarian approach and also environmental issues and the statements his son would like to make around the world.”

Kaka is that good he can stop the polar ice caps from melting obviously.

Perhaps the madness will stop with City boss Mark Hughes? He seems a sensible kind of guy. On January the first he said this:
“We’re aware of this assumption about the level of finance that we’ll throw at the project in January, but we still have realistic market values…It will not be to the extent where we are paying hugely over the market value.”

Then, 21 days later:
City sign Midfielder Nigel De Jong for £19 million even through they could have signed him at the end of the season for just £2.3 million.

But despite all the madness that has gone over the past few days a few people still don’t get it. Take former City chairman David Goldstein for instance, who was apparently dead serious when he said this:

“It wasn’t that long ago that Main Road was nicknamed the ‘Theatre of Comedy’ and hopefully those days are behind us for good.”

Not quite David.

Well I’m no football betting expert, but despite all the money City have spent already this January they will still probably be one of the favourites for relegation, simply because City are traditionally very good at messing things up in a grand way.

I’ll finish with our friend Mr Cook and a message of reassurance to those long suffering City fans:
“If we don’t get Kaka it is not the end of the world. We got Craig Bellamy.”

I rest my case.

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