Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals
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Steve Lomas
 
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Ronbo Part 1: Full Gunishment
We preview the first big-screen action classic of the year

   
Big Ronbo managed for his life in the Premiership trenches but is now an outcast, shunned by society and drifting from gantry to gantry looking for work.

One day, a corrupt FA official imprisons Ronbo in Lancaster Gate on trumped up disrepute charges. Ronbo's spell in the nick is not a happy one and a forced dejewelling gives him flashbacks to his horrific experiences in a post-match bath at VIlla.

Luckily, Ronbo escapes early doors and plots his revenge against footballing society. Giving it the full gun for fun if you like, Ronbo sticks a series of reducers into a crowd scene of overzealous FA compliance officers, who quickly go down like Buddy Holly as Ronbo goes to the sound of the trumpets.

As the largest manager-hunt in the history of the game fails to snare the tanned escapee, FA spokesman Adam Crozier is heard to reflect, "We aint huntin Ronbo, he's huntin' us". Eventually Crozier and his men join the Wide Awake Club and arrive in installments for a spectacular standoff with the muck and nettles outhouse.

By now playing from amnesia, Ronbo faces his toughest test. Can he notch once more to put it to the bed?

Find out soon at an amusement arcade near you!

Full Gunishment picture by designer, Jim Norris.
Email Jim at jimgfc@hotmail.com
Accompanying guff by Larry Ryan.