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Ronglish
Outcry
Pundit Fury as
Certification System Fails
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Angry pundits
More bad news for the Irish IT
industry last night as dozens of
DangerHere Internet boffins were
axed in a furious row over the web
site's ill-fated Ronglish
certification system.
Earlier, hundreds of angry
football pundits had stormed the
marble halls of DangerHere Towers,
as frustration over the wait for
the prized qualification finally
spilled over.
Welch: Disappointed
Comedy Irish TV station, TV3, was
heavily represented among the
protestors. Led by disappointed
Ron fan, Trevor Welch and
voiceover king, Darren "Ma,
Ma, I'm interviewing Ryan Giggs"
Frehill, the Three possee claimed
that, to date, none of the
station's football pundits had
received a cert.
King: Critical
Out-of-favour TV3
"expert" Noel King, was
especially critical of DangerHere.
"F***** b*******", he
replied when pressed for his views
on the web site management.
"I could tell them boys a
thing or do about computers",
he continued, before explaining
how his Director Of Football role
at interesting Irish football
site, A2Zsoccer, sometimes allowed
him to turn on two, maybe three
computers before anyone else
arrived in the morning.
Threatens to Sour
Hot on the heels of the recent
Buddygate scandal, this latest
embarrassment threatens to sour
DangerHere's relationship with the
Royal Institiute of Commentating,
which oversees the Ronglish
curriculum.
Institute Dean of Guffology, Ron
Gleish (real name, Alf Stewart)
was unimpressed with the way
DangerHere has handled the
examinations. "Strike me
Rome, there's flamin' gallahs who
took this exam back in June that
haven't got their certs yet"
Ron revealed. "And now the
bloomin' exam form doesn't even
work. I'll have those hoons' guts
for garters", he boomed.
Red cards
Towers supremos were quick to deal
with the crisis. Ruthless IT
figurehead, Gareth Power,
immediately summoned all 46 of the
company's programmers to the
mink-carpeted boardroom and
promptly issued the ceremonial red
card. To the techies' credit, the
lads strode without fuss to the
luxurious Towers wash area for
their early baths and jacuzzis.
C-- programmer Jody Fitzpatrick
didn't blame his old employers.
"At the end of the day, to be
fair, that form was useless. Sure
it never worked at all. What were
we thinking at all, at all?".
Light of day
DangerHere nightwatchman, Ed
Leahy, hoped the purge would
straighten out the Ronglish mess
claiming "I've every
confidence that someday soon, a
Ronglish certificate will see the
light of day."
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