I don't make 
and I never will.

Oh I Say, It's Motty


Motty - Perennial Commentator Wars Contender

And that's England's finest victory over the Germans since the war.

We know what you meant, Motty. We hope...

Pinch yourselves please.

Motty is beside himself as England's fourth goes in against Germany.

And how ironic that the time on the clock is 66.

Motty turns Alanis in two thousandth 1966 reference of that evening.

"Trevor Brooking's notes are getting wet with the rain. I must lend him some of the perspex I always bring to cover mine."

You knew in your heart and soul that Motty would never be without carefully trimmed perspex to protect his lovingly compiled stats, didn't you?

I've just heard that in the other match Real Madrid have just scored. That makes the score, if my calculations are correct, 4-3! But I'm only guessing!

Maths never was Motty's strong suit.

I have to say, he's done as well as anyone out there.

Not at all patronisingly, Motty is impressed with Japanese player Nakata's performance for Roma against Liverpool last season.

Brazil - they're so good it's like they are running around the pitch playing with themselves.

A touch of the Jimmy Magees, who suggested that Ardiles stroked the ball like it was part of his anatomy.

And what a time to score. 22 minutes gone.

I suppose, ironically, 22 is one-third of 66 and England have one-third the number of world cups the German's do.

You couldn't count the number of moves Alan Ball made...I counted four and possibly five.

Abacas-wielding Motson always keeps on top of things for his more mathemathically challenged audience.

Nearly all the Brazilian supporters are wearing yellow shirts - it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour!'

Kaleidoscopes not much cop around Motson way.

That's an old Ipswich move - O'Callaghan crossing for Mariner to drive over the bar.'

It's actually true, Bobby Robson perfected that manoeuver back in his Ipswich days. He's lately been working on a sequel involving Nobby Solano.

...so different from the scenes in 1872, at the cup final none of us can remember.

What is it about 1872... such a  forgettable game.

and the classic

For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the yellow strip.'

more from Motty during the week