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Look, mate, there's no point in
fooling yourself. Those ladies don't fancy you. They're just out to
use you. They want you for your wallet, not for yourself. Believe
me - I've been there. I've seen it all, me. My present wife
excepted, I've been taken for a ride by ladies manys a time in the
past, and not in the good way, neither! My
first wife, Lady Persephone von Sinke, for example, took me to the
cleaner's in a messy divorce in 1973. Not only did she get the
house, me motors, and the three horses, but she used her wicked
charms to get the judge to make me pay her alimony too. From 1973
until she got married again in 1988 to Eric Clapton, I paid her a
grand total of £2,067,091.62. My advice
to you, son, is to give those ladies a wide berth. Wait until that
fateful day arrives when you meet that very special someone who will
set your heart afire, just like Babs has done with mine. When
that day comes, you won't need to turn to the Gaffer or anyone else
for advice... all you'll have to do is listen to your heart!
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