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The
Gaffer's Photo Casebook
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Dear
Gaffer
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Last
season, I enjoyed a
measure of success as
manager of a major Irish
club side. I led them to a
League and Cup double, and
gave them a chance at
European glory. This is
the same team that three
years ago, when I first
took over, was lucky to
avoid relegation.
The
thing is, Gaffer, they
gave me the elbow at the
club over the summer, and
then, at my lowest ebb, I
managed to bounce back by
realising my dream of
getting a management
position with an English
club side.
I've
always been a man who
likes to dress well. My
biggest problem settling
in here in England is
trying to figure out how
best to dress for English
League games. So far, all
my attempts have been
miserable failures.
Gaffer,
I know you're a man who
likes to maintain a
certain dapperness in
footballing circumstances.
What advice can you offer
me?
Rod
C
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Rod
C's sartorial confusion
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Yes, Rod, you're right. I am a
man who likes to be nicely turned out for League matches. I do dress
down at other times, though. For
example, last week I was at home, walking about the place in me
birthday suit. It wasn't half hot that day, you know, and it was the
only way to stay comfortable. Anyway, me
wife Babs was in the other room doing a spot of hoovering. I said to
meself "I'll have a bit of a lark by sneaking in and surprising
her." So I snuck in and grabbed her around the middle.
Unluckily, she spun around, holding the nozzle of the hoover at
about waist height. I'll spare you the gruesome details about what
happened next. Let it suffice to say that I spent the rest of the
day in the local casualty ward awaiting treatment for a very
sensitive part of me anatomy. Babs has
been at me recently about trying for a little nipper, and I've been
having none of it. Let's just say that that's not going to be much
of an issue for a while to come. What
I'm trying to say to you is this - always dress for the occasion.
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Need advice from the Gaffer? Then send
your
footballing problems to thegaffer@dangerhere.com
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| Dear
Gaffer |
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I've got a huge World Cup qualifier coming up next weekend against the drug-fuelled men of the Netherlands, but now it looks like
I might be without my captain and best player Roy Keane. He's only gone and done his
ankle in.
He's
had a scan that says
he's okay, but I'm
not convinced. Sir
Alex might see fit
to contrive an
injury during the
week to keep him out
of my team. If Roy doesn't make it, I'll have to try and rejig the side.
I might have to stick Mattie Holland in
with Carsley, but they lack experience. So maybe I might stick 5 across the middle behind
Quinnie and hope to get a few breaks. I could play five at the back
with Dots, Dunner and Stan as centre-halves.
As a manager with great experience at international level, I'm looking to
you for counsel.
Mick
Mac
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The Gaffer replies...
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| Mick, it's a big
problem, and no
mistake.
If Roy
doesn't make it, my suggestion is
to give the game a miss altogether and join me
and lovely Babs in the corporate hospitality
at the U2 gig in Slane.
Maybe you should have taken the city job when it was on offer.
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