While wrestling with young scrumpers Jonathan Woodgate and Lee Bowyer on the beach by Smuggler’s Cove, Young Dave spied two suspicious men talking animatedly at the opening of a cave. Curious, Dave and his pals moved carefully to within earshot to hear what the gentlemen were saying.

In a statement, David told local bobbies that he immediately recognised the two men as his sworn enemies Mr Houllier and Mr Wenger of France. 

"In the course of their conversation," he said, "I realised that they were plotting to steal the Premiership trophy."

"As I say," Dave went on, "the two frogs are at the mouth of the cave, and as I say, they are frustrated about not being able to beat Mr Ferguson and his friends, and are plotting to steal the blinking thing!" 

In the statement, Dave admits to have been very frightened of old Mr. Ferguson and none-too fond of him. He explains that he had been told by Aunt Fanny and Uncle Quentin never to bother the old man and that in several entanglements with Mr. Ferguson, he had often gone off home with his tail between his legs.

Nevertheless, despite their history, Dave was sure that what the two Frenchmen were plotting would be jolly unfair to the elderly gentleman, as he had won the trophy fair and square in a competition.

Although only young men learning their trade, Dave and his chums knew enough to follow the two frogs back to their secret headquarters. While peeping through the living room window, the boys saw a table laden with maps and blueprints and a blackboard with the phrases “Old Man Ferguson’s Place”, “Premiership Trophy” and “Nab it” written upon it. Dave dispatched Jonathan and Lee to the police station quick-smart to alert the authorities. The two boys were well known to the local constabulary.

Thankfully, the police arrived with Jonathan and Lee, as well as  Aunt Fanny and Uncle Quentin in double-quick time. Mr Wenger, according to one source, is reported to have said that the plan would have succeeded if it wasn’t for the Dave and his meddlesome kids.