After
several rounds of qualifying
heats, the 2001 Commentator Wars
have finally reached the last
sixteen combatants. There were
several surprise casualties along
the way. Pint-sized TV3 newcomer
Conor McNamara saw off excitable
Sky Sports veteran Chris Kamara in
a grim tussle lit by a ring of car
headlights at Loading Bay 3 of the
Square in Tallaght. The match went
to fifteen rounds before Kamara
retired with a broken leg and two
punctured lungs. McNamara, despite
emerging as victor, was admitted
to hospital with concussion and a
ruptured Achilles tendon.
Eamon Dunphy
established his Commentator Wars
credentials by hammering RTE
stalwart Marty Morrissey in a
swift, one-sided affair at 3AM in
the car park outside The Goat in
Dublin's southside. Dunphy
afterwards declared himself to be
"a superb fighter, a great
addition to the proud ranks of
Commentator Wars masters."
Morrissey is expected to resume
his commentating career in three
months, by which time his jaw
should have set sufficiently for
him to be able to speak again.
Sky's Andy
Gray showed no mercy against Irish
stablemate Paul Dempsey in a bout
held during February in the
alleyway behind Stringfellow's in
London. Dempsey tried to concede
in the second round, but Gray,
pretending not to hear, continued
to press home his advantage
against the slower, more
lightweight fighter for a further
eight rounds. In the end, Dempsey
managed to halt the fight by
feigning death.
Now the
scene is set for the final month
of competition, which will see the
2001 Commentator Wars champion
crowned before a packed audience
in the specially constructed Pit
in the Plaza outside DangerHere
Towers.
Rest assured that The Pit is no place for the faint hearted and each of our gladiators needs all the support
of his backers. To give your man the best possible chance,
go to his bout and cheer him on
using our patented cheering
technology.
Click a
bout below to read all about it.
Bouts will be added on a regular
basis.
May the
bravest, swiftest, strongest
commentator emerge victorious!
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