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Total
and utter control. Oh there's a loose one. Danger
here..... |
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Week 3. Ronglish, More Invaluable Lessons |
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Ronglish
is getting complex now so it may be best to fully
acquaint yourselves with lessons 1
and 2 before
proceeding. This week, we put into practice three
more Ronglish building blocks - and not forgetting
that everyone can't be a venerable tanned co-comentator
- we again show how to integrate these vital
phrases into daily life. |
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| 7.
amusement arcade |
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| Much
as he likes a player to have a trick "in his
locker", suspicious Ron is wary of the gent
who sells one lollipop too many at the expense of
"knocking it out of his feet" and
"having a dig". Such dilettantes are
dismissed as amusement arcades.
Ron
might say: Alright, the big Nigerian's a crowd
pleaser, Clive, but by 'eck he can be a bit of an
amusement arcade. Go on son, give it the full gun!
Mrs Ron might say: Ron love, that new Au
Pair's got to go and no mistake. All right, she
keeps you entertained with a few card tricks of an
evening but look at the state of my kitchen floor.
And what about those pans? Mark my words, that
girl's just an amusement arcade.
Ronglish points: **
A recent classic from the king of guff. We
expect Ron to shortly bring this favourite into
the technology age, by making David Ginola the
first Sony Playstation to play in the Premiership.
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| 8.
crowd scene |
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Ron
always likes to give it a bit of Hollywood but
this movie reference evokes sad memories of the
big man's alleged failure to cut the mustard as
a terrified villager in the first Indiana Jones
film. Nowadays, every packed goalmouth reminds
Ron of what might have been. Still the silver
screen's loss is comic co-commentary's gain.
Ron
might say if the BBC Liverpool Fan Club didn't
have rights to the game: Rivaldo's
loaded that in the mixer again but the way
Liverpool are defending, it's a (sob) crowd
scene in there.
Mrs.
Ron might say: Enough's
enough Ron. Get Marshey and the rest out of my
kitchen quick smart. It's a crowd scene in there
and I've got our Tracy coming round. Don't know
why you've got that lot over anyway. It's not as
if they haven't seen a few card tricks before.
Ronglish
points: ***
Obviously,
the crowd scene doesn't have the same emotional
baggage for other pundits. But here at
DangerHere Towers, we reckon we've heard Jim
Beglin slip one into a particularly backs to the
wall Irish performance. Something like -
"You gotta say it's a crowd scene in there,
George". However, the suggestion that
George replied "Shades of the Temple of
Doom" is just silly.
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| 9.
tell you what |
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The
fledgling language's single most indispensable
element. Complex Ronglish syntax rules state
that 'tell you what' must preface every
exclamation, statement of fact, or off-the-cuff
remark. Be warned also that this landmark phrase
can signal the beginning of an extended tirade
of pure Ronglish.
Ron
might say:
Tell you what, spotter's badge for Zola early
doors, Hasselbaink's given it the full gun, and
there's Wisey sneaking in at the second post.
Mrs
Ron might say: Tell
you what, that dress is a bit tasty Ron. Get
your wallet out... and mind your back love.
Ronglish
points: **********
Ronglish's
flagship has been adopted by all manner of
pundit and punter. Gray has checked in for 'tell
you what' addiction treatment, wily campaigners
like Beglin, Hansen and Lawrenson always have
one to hand, and even jokers like Welsh and
Cooney occasionally pretend to be professional
broadcasters and try one out for size.
Next week:
Such is the popular demand for a Ronglish
education, we extend our series to bring you
some lesser known, yet equally
vital, Ron phrases. |
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