Lovely Phil Brown

KEEPING BUSY

On Goals On Sunday, Ian Payne brought first news of how gardening leave is going for the Browner:

“I spoke to a 67-year-old Hull fan in the week who wanted to thank Phil Brown for the ride of his life.”

Luckily, Johnny Barnes was on hand to smooth over any embarrassment:

“If he’s 67, he’s had a few rides as well.”

NARROW ANGLE

Paul Merson doffed his protractor to Jose Mourinho for being:

“…tactically acute.”

FIXTURE SECRETARY

It was impossible to look beyond Dwight Yorke for definitive analysis of Friday’s Champions League draw:

“The home leg will be played at home.”

BON CHANCE

Famously content to parry instead of catch, Packie Bonner remains easily pleased:

“Kilmarnock got off to the perfect start with a shot that hit the bar.”
MASTER PLAN

On MNS, Pat Morley provided the lowdown on Galway United’s two-storey plans for League of Ireland survival:

“I think they will just try and stay above where they can stay.”

OUT OF TUNE

Just as Gilesy once feared “personal stereos and third level education” were destroying football, Phil Thompson had some words of warning for Anton Ferdinand and his ears:

“Listening to all the music and everything when he should be concentrating on his football…”

THAT WENT WELL

Three-nil down at Anfield, ESPN’s Rebecca Lowe felt Avram Grant had a couple of options:

“It was a difficult decision for you at half-time – try to prevent Liverpool scoring another goal or try to get one back yourselves.”

Unfortunately, Avram had his own theory:

“We tried to do something in between.”

BACK TO THE FUTURE

Yesterday is the first day of the rest of Mike Parry’s life:

“We are going to witness today two of the great sporting moments, Fulham last night and Cheltenham today.”

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Top class interrogation of Jose Mourinho by a clearly covetous Trevor Welch:

“You’re eating your custard creams. Do you like custard creams?”

LOCAL KNOWLEDGE

Gus Poyet has been in football long enough to learn a thing or two:

“It was a typical game, where whoever scored the goal was going to win it.”

DRUGS DON’T WORK

Chris Kamara gets to the bottom of Wigan’s dodgy defending:

“Gary Caldwell was high as a kite there in the box.”

MAN IN BLACK(ADDER)

Jon Champion scrapes the barrel when the assistant flags for a West Ham penalty:

“Atkinson is the referee but Arsenal think Baldrick is running the line.”

DICTIONARY CORNER

With Paul Merson almost finished his lifetime work reshaping the fundamentals of the English language, Phil Thompson is lending a helping hand here and there with some cosmetic flourishes:

“You can see they’re not at it, to quote a pun.”

BOB HOPE

However, Bobby Gould has long been relieved of his responsibility for new word creation:

“I’ve just been praising Dawson then he makes a terrible pass. Hope I haven’t put the plock on him.”

THE REDUCER

Not that Bobby is easily discouraged:

“I can’t wait to see what happens – we’re all abating.”

QUICK ONE-TWOS

Steve Claridge never says never:

“Newcastle just don’t get beat, they’ve only been beaten four times.”

John Hollins completes Anatomy 101:

“Joe Cole’s got two good feet, both his left one and his right one.”

BBC website confuses the Arsenal defence:

“Gael Clichy says he has struggled with the club’s new 4-4-3 system this season.”

Paul Merson still hasn’t got to grips with digital era:

“You play a weakened team and they could be putting lightbulbs in the scoreboard.”

David Pleat looks to reboot:

“He has to start a little bit better than he has already begun.”

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