After the plans for a new digital TV football highlights service are lost at a motorway service station, BSkyB begins a feverish search for them.

As Bond (Jeff Stelling) joins the search, he suspects Rodney Marsh of involvement in the affair. Bond finds an ally in the beautiful Kirsty Gallagher, a 12-foot tall ex-supermodel turned secret agent, who blames Marsh for the troubled history of the Tampa Bay Rowdies. The plot thickens when Marsh takes a shine to Bond’s bird, leading to Bond’s abandonment of his original mission in favour of a bid to assassinate Marsh at the earliest opportunity.