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Apropos of nothing

Following the first leg of Liverpool - Barcelona in the Big Cup last season, Eamo told us that "Ronan O'Gara and Brian O'Driscoll, these guys are up there. These guys set the bar for sport in the modern age...
Eamon Dunphy

Would you let Eamon Dunphy drive the train to Cork?

For those of you that missed it, the night's comi-tragedy in a nutshell. Stan professes admiration for Czech's "post-match partying behaviour" - as Billo delicately put it: "They're a very talented team... and they're very competitive underneath." Apple falls on Stan's head...

Who is Ray Wilkins’ Charlie Farley?

First correct answer wins a DangerHere t-shirt. Butch was getting quite bullish about Engerland last night, pondering the feast of substitutes at Steve "The Mouth" Mac's disposal when Fat Frank and the lads are back on board: "All of a sudden...

Not even George Hamilton to blame

Wasn't it so much easier when we had George's premature fowl audits to blame for last minute catastrophes? Not this time: "This is a night when it was felt they could get the three points and they've played well enough...

From rags to riches for Saha

Louis Saha's winner for United on Saturday was a real tear-jerker for Jimmy Magee - a moving tale of one man's ascension from the most ignominious of beginnings to ultimate triumph at the Theatre of Dreams: "The man who...

Rooney on the mend?

According to The Times Online: Baltrusch claims that she was driven to Ronaldo's house with four other prostitutes and told to help the three players, two of their friends and an unidentified "fat man" to celebrate United's first victory of...

Does he really Jamie?

With Jamie Redknapp having half the Premiership literally on fire, or literally left for dead, it's probably just as well we've got an International break coming up. Nice though for Scholesy to get a few days off with his...

West Ham up to their old tricks

Haven't they learned a thing? A quick perusal of RTE Aertel's "Soccer" headlines suggests the Hammers are still using players that don't belong to them. Spotter's Badge Gerry McGreevy

Week in Guff: Ronnie Whelan gets to bottom of Riise power

Football Focus on Saturday provided the clearest evidence yet what damage a lifetime of heading the ball can do to the brain. According to Martin Keown, this is... "... the strongest Everton squad you can ever remember." Tell that...

Job not done. Mourinho not getting carried away.

No wonder Keano is getting so upset about modern footballers prioritising shopping over the game. According to Paul Walsh on Sky, some players - Mattie Taylor for one - are so obsessed with everyday possessions that it's creeping...

Don’t forget Wigan – Middlesbrough tonight folks

"The pressure is on both of them already," says Andy Gray. Meanwhile, the pressure was on Gary MacAllister last night and didn't he let Richard Keys down badly. With competition from Setanta (any sign of fixing the DH Towers signal...

Week in Guff: Merse a fish out of his tree

He was in Dublin during the week plugging Soccer Saturday, and Paul Merson didn't let us down on the opening day, greeting Roque Santa Cruz's debut header for Blackburn thus: "He's rose like a fish." Manfully giving voice to the...

Does Becks really know what he’s getting into?

Reporter Jeremy StLouis to Chivas' Jesse Marsch: "Jesse, tough game to lose, lets get your thoughts on it, you put in a good effort". Marsch: "Yeah, er, we actually won."



Eamon Dunphy

John Motson

Graham Taylor

Kevin Keegan

George Hamilton