Quotes 2008-2009

English as a foreign language with Jamie

More triffic insight from the tight-trousered dandy, Jeff's first conundrum and the rest... Dismantling the dictionary piece by piece: "That's the thing with Arsenal. They're either brilliant or completely inconsistent." *** WHAT DO YOU THINK RUUD? Gullit makes the case for Ronaldo:  "What if...

Thommo sends Dunner into limbo

Hansen splits hairs, Andy's imaginary friends, Frank Stapleton lights up Setanta Of course flexibility is all important in the modern game, but Phil Thompson has spotted Richard Dunne taking things a little too far: "He puts his neck on the line...

Charlie takes it to the sleep bank

Con brings football home, Jimmy red hot, Arsene speaks Weng. Charlie Nicholas reveals just how Arsene Wenger gets the best from his players - an early night is certainly worth their while: "There's a curfew of 75 grand a week." SPEAKING WENG When...

Ronaldo is a petulant brat, Bill

Eamon Dunphy's Ronaldo fatwa is back on with a bang baby. A less-than-inspiring turn against Celtic by the world's greatest player paved the way for a familiar night of family fun in Montrose. Taking advantage of Eamo's new fast-tracking programme that...

Gilesy sets us straight

Villa aim for mythical fifth, Arsene thrown, Marwood torn and the rest. GILESY RULES There are many philosophical attitudes to luck. The rationalist applies the laws of probability, the spiritualist performs his rituals and the numerologist picks his favourite digit. Well...

Lights, Kamara, Action

Kammy directs and the rest of this week's quick one-twos. With just the usual formulaic guff coming out of Hollywood these days, surely it's time Chris Kamara went Stateside to shake things up a bit. His could make a directorial...

Merson finds new Dinny Irwin

Pleat backs a hunch, Razor sharp as ever, ROG demoted and the rest. ASH RATED For many years, Dennis Irwin was comfortably the Premier League's most sung unsung hero. Now, in Hull's Ian Ashby, could Paul Merson have found a successor? "He's...

Liverpool’s relative success

Smudger risks Scouse wrath and rest of quick one-twos Alan Smith confirms Liverpool have always been a family club: "Liverpool have depended on that inbred discipline." Jamie Redknapp has Ricardo Fuller on the physio's sofa: "I don't know what state of mind his...

Good times over for Gilesy

Honest Berba, Motty rewrites history and Thommo talks finance END OF AN ERA Emotional times in Montrose midweek. It seems we've heard for the last time the classic Gilesy admission... "Ahhh, I don't know a lot about these fellas, Bill." In this...

Stelling sticks it to Spurs

Giovanni sent to Hull and rest of this week's quick one-twos. The odds were against Brighton assistant Dean White: "We scored three goals at home, and ninety-nine times out of ten that'll be enough." Could the Andy Reid affair be one battle...

Eamo’s fatwa resumption

Ronaldo back in firing line, Dolan hungry and the rest of this week's quick one-twos. Eamo's Ronaldo ceasefire was never going to last long: "The greatest player in the world? He must have sawdust in his brains." A touch of wish fulfilment...

George’s classic moment in time

Thommo's call to nature, Spanish lice, Jimmy leaves Keano pointless, Eamo's shortcut and more. OUT OF HIS TREE As a rule, Phil Thompson tells anyone who will listen how Liverpool are set to sweep all before them. But times have changed...

Salako spots advanced simulation

Big Phil gets his apron on and all the rest of this weekend's guff... NEXT STOP BROADWAY With diving and simulation nearing a fine art, it was only a matter of time before a Premier League footballer took full-time to the...

THE YEARS IN GUFF

HALL OF GUFF

Eamon Dunphy

Graham Taylor

John Motson

Kevin Keegan

George Hamilton

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