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Quotes 2008-2009

Bend it like Beattie

Jimmy makes magic, Stan's fat cats, two-faced Martin Fisher

Charlie takes it to the sleep bank

Con brings football home, Jimmy red hot, Arsene speaks Weng. Charlie Nicholas reveals just how Arsene Wenger gets the best from his players - an early night is certainly worth their while: "There's a curfew of 75 grand a week." SPEAKING WENG When...

Mystic Lawro predicts

Merse repeats, Charlie lost in Europe, Cottee bored, Dan in Leitrim spot on. With no gossip at his disposal now that footballers are afraid to tell him anything, Lawro's latest trick is to predict the unpredictable: "They (West Ham) are unpredictable...

Big Pat loses his shape

Big, big Jamie, Brown prepared, Gullit hasn't forgiven Shearer yet. Before United-Everton, Pat "Isosceles" Dolan saw another side to the Toffees' attacking options: "It's the golden triangle, Felliani and Cahill." THE NEW MASSIVE Forget your "top, top players", Jamie dug deep yesterday to...

Stelling sticks it to Spurs

Giovanni sent to Hull and rest of this week's quick one-twos. The odds were against Brighton assistant Dean White: "We scored three goals at home, and ninety-nine times out of ten that'll be enough." Could the Andy Reid affair be one battle...

Good times over for Gilesy

Honest Berba, Motty rewrites history and Thommo talks finance END OF AN ERA Emotional times in Montrose midweek. It seems we've heard for the last time the classic Gilesy admission... "Ahhh, I don't know a lot about these fellas, Bill." In this...

Eamo’s fatwa resumption

Ronaldo back in firing line, Dolan hungry and the rest of this week's quick one-twos. Eamo's Ronaldo ceasefire was never going to last long: "The greatest player in the world? He must have sawdust in his brains." A touch of wish fulfilment...

Gilesy sets us straight

Villa aim for mythical fifth, Arsene thrown, Marwood torn and the rest. GILESY RULES There are many philosophical attitudes to luck. The rationalist applies the laws of probability, the spiritualist performs his rituals and the numerologist picks his favourite digit. Well...

Liverpool’s relative success

Smudger risks Scouse wrath and rest of quick one-twos Alan Smith confirms Liverpool have always been a family club: "Liverpool have depended on that inbred discipline." Jamie Redknapp has Ricardo Fuller on the physio's sofa: "I don't know what state of mind his...

Merson finds new Dinny Irwin

Pleat backs a hunch, Razor sharp as ever, ROG demoted and the rest. ASH RATED For many years, Dennis Irwin was comfortably the Premier League's most sung unsung hero. Now, in Hull's Ian Ashby, could Paul Merson have found a successor? "He's...

Keys cries for Fellaini

Ashey absense weight off Geordies and all the this week's quick one-twos Mike Ashley's absence has already had its effect; Ian Darke: "A very, very thin crowd by Newcastle standards." Pronunciation of the week - Graeme Souness' take on Bolton's keeper; "Jastlun Chestunlaika" Ray...

Fergie puts the moves on the United bench

Houghton shock revelation, in the kitchen with Martin Fisher and Tony Cas plays Frankenstein.

Jimmy traps Brown in a lift

No losers for Jeff, Sbragia cut open, Silvestre's mickey and David Brady sets GAA guff standard.

THE YEARS IN GUFF

HALL OF GUFF

Eamon Dunphy

John Motson

Graham Taylor

Kevin Keegan

George Hamilton

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