Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Thommo sends Dunner into limbo

Hansen splits hairs, Andy's imaginary friends, Frank Stapleton lights up Setanta Of course flexibility is all important in the modern game, but Phil Thompson has spotted Richard Dunne taking things a little too far: "He puts his neck on the line...

Italy v Ireland in torrents of guff

George doesn't add up. Eamo's history lesson, Gilesy on new-fangled technology. Eamo was rather pointed at half time after George spent much of the first half trying to convince Jim Beglin that Pazzini had sharpened and swung his elbow with...

Mystic Lawro predicts

Merse repeats, Charlie lost in Europe, Cottee bored, Dan in Leitrim spot on. With no gossip at his disposal now that footballers are afraid to tell him anything, Lawro's latest trick is to predict the unpredictable: "They (West Ham) are unpredictable...

Ronaldo is a petulant brat, Bill

Eamon Dunphy's Ronaldo fatwa is back on with a bang baby. A less-than-inspiring turn against Celtic by the world's greatest player paved the way for a familiar night of family fun in Montrose. Taking advantage of Eamo's new fast-tracking programme that...

Stelling sticks it to Spurs

Giovanni sent to Hull and rest of this week's quick one-twos. The odds were against Brighton assistant Dean White: "We scored three goals at home, and ninety-nine times out of ten that'll be enough." Could the Andy Reid affair be one battle...

Has Jeff Stelling turned into Cyril Farrell?

Stelling's lovely wristy hurlers, Sherwood's bungled break-in, Joanne Cantwell takes pity and more. Has the smooth-talking Jeff Stelling suddenly become football's answer to Cyril "As such, Ger" Farrell? Maybe Jeff has allocated all of his vocabulary to his upcoming Countdown...

Bend it like Beattie

Jimmy makes magic, Stan's fat cats, two-faced Martin Fisher

Good times over for Gilesy

Honest Berba, Motty rewrites history and Thommo talks finance END OF AN ERA Emotional times in Montrose midweek. It seems we've heard for the last time the classic Gilesy admission... "Ahhh, I don't know a lot about these fellas, Bill." In this...

2008 in Guff: Deja vu all over again for Jeff Stelling

30. Jamie Redknapp had Ricardo Fuller on the physio's sofa: "I don't know what state of mind his body is in." 29. Chris Kamara discovered an unbelievable rock formation: "There's a gulf in class that's a mile wide at either side." 28. Phil...

Big Sam sweats as Beglin’s mind wanders

Gilesy feels heat, Tel fluent, Pleat confused, Champion spot on. HOT UNDER THE COLLAR With Fergie and Allardyce lecturing Benitez on humility, Gilesy wondered if the conditions in Big Sam's glasshouse were suitable for stone-throwing: "Sam Allardyce himself could get a few...

Merson finds new Dinny Irwin

Pleat backs a hunch, Razor sharp as ever, ROG demoted and the rest. ASH RATED For many years, Dennis Irwin was comfortably the Premier League's most sung unsung hero. Now, in Hull's Ian Ashby, could Paul Merson have found a successor? "He's...

Fergie puts the moves on the United bench

Houghton shock revelation, in the kitchen with Martin Fisher and Tony Cas plays Frankenstein.

Lights, Kamara, Action

Kammy directs and the rest of this week's quick one-twos. With just the usual formulaic guff coming out of Hollywood these days, surely it's time Chris Kamara went Stateside to shake things up a bit. His could make a directorial...

HALL OF GUFF

Eamon Dunphy

Graham Taylor

Kevin Keegan

John Motson

George Hamilton