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Quotes 2008-2009

Italy v Ireland in torrents of guff

George doesn't add up. Eamo's history lesson, Gilesy on new-fangled technology. Eamo was rather pointed at half time after George spent much of the first half trying to convince Jim Beglin that Pazzini had sharpened and swung his elbow with...

Big Pat loses his shape

Big, big Jamie, Brown prepared, Gullit hasn't forgiven Shearer yet. Before United-Everton, Pat "Isosceles" Dolan saw another side to the Toffees' attacking options: "It's the golden triangle, Felliani and Cahill." THE NEW MASSIVE Forget your "top, top players", Jamie dug deep yesterday to...

Keys cries for Fellaini

Ashey absense weight off Geordies and all the this week's quick one-twos Mike Ashley's absence has already had its effect; Ian Darke: "A very, very thin crowd by Newcastle standards." Pronunciation of the week - Graeme Souness' take on Bolton's keeper; "Jastlun Chestunlaika" Ray...

Gilesy’s Seanfhocail

It has been a while since Gilesy unveiled another of his litany of footballing sean-fhocail. In truth, this is a body of work notable for its unfamiliarity to anyone but Gilesy himself. Although Today FM marvel Tom Tyrrell remains the undisputed...

Fergie puts the moves on the United bench

Houghton shock revelation, in the kitchen with Martin Fisher and Tony Cas plays Frankenstein.

Taylor discovers what those flags are for

Stelling comes down chimney, George tries his best, new autolino.   With even Reidy back in employment, isn't it high time the great managerial merry-go-round spat Graham Taylor back onto the spongy, padded surface of the Premier League? How can...

Lights, Kamara, Action

Kammy directs and the rest of this week's quick one-twos. With just the usual formulaic guff coming out of Hollywood these days, surely it's time Chris Kamara went Stateside to shake things up a bit. His could make a directorial...

Stelling sticks it to Spurs

Giovanni sent to Hull and rest of this week's quick one-twos. The odds were against Brighton assistant Dean White: "We scored three goals at home, and ninety-nine times out of ten that'll be enough." Could the Andy Reid affair be one battle...

Bend it like Beattie

Jimmy makes magic, Stan's fat cats, two-faced Martin Fisher

Big Sam sweats as Beglin’s mind wanders

Gilesy feels heat, Tel fluent, Pleat confused, Champion spot on. HOT UNDER THE COLLAR With Fergie and Allardyce lecturing Benitez on humility, Gilesy wondered if the conditions in Big Sam's glasshouse were suitable for stone-throwing: "Sam Allardyce himself could get a few...

Kaka snubs City carrot

What Ricky will miss out on, Ronnie's geography, Welsh woe, Jewell philosophy. Man City's Nedum Onuoha was convinced the prospect of shooting practise with Darius Vassell and Jo will be enough to swing the Kaka deal: "I think we would...

Thommo sends Dunner into limbo

Hansen splits hairs, Andy's imaginary friends, Frank Stapleton lights up Setanta Of course flexibility is all important in the modern game, but Phil Thompson has spotted Richard Dunne taking things a little too far: "He puts his neck on the line...

Salako spots advanced simulation

Big Phil gets his apron on and all the rest of this weekend's guff... NEXT STOP BROADWAY With diving and simulation nearing a fine art, it was only a matter of time before a Premier League footballer took full-time to the...

THE YEARS IN GUFF

HALL OF GUFF

Eamon Dunphy

Graham Taylor

John Motson

Kevin Keegan

George Hamilton

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