Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Gilesy’s Seanfhocail

It has been a while since Gilesy unveiled another of his litany of footballing sean-fhocail. In truth, this is a body of work notable for its unfamiliarity to anyone but Gilesy himself. Although Today FM marvel Tom Tyrrell remains the undisputed...

Charlie takes it to the sleep bank

Con brings football home, Jimmy red hot, Arsene speaks Weng. Charlie Nicholas reveals just how Arsene Wenger gets the best from his players - an early night is certainly worth their while: "There's a curfew of 75 grand a week." SPEAKING WENG When...

Fergie puts the moves on the United bench

Houghton shock revelation, in the kitchen with Martin Fisher and Tony Cas plays Frankenstein.

2008 in Guff: Deja vu all over again for Jeff Stelling

30. Jamie Redknapp had Ricardo Fuller on the physio's sofa: "I don't know what state of mind his body is in." 29. Chris Kamara discovered an unbelievable rock formation: "There's a gulf in class that's a mile wide at either side." 28. Phil...

Big Sam sweats as Beglin’s mind wanders

Gilesy feels heat, Tel fluent, Pleat confused, Champion spot on. HOT UNDER THE COLLAR With Fergie and Allardyce lecturing Benitez on humility, Gilesy wondered if the conditions in Big Sam's glasshouse were suitable for stone-throwing: "Sam Allardyce himself could get a few...

Ronaldo is a petulant brat, Bill

Eamon Dunphy's Ronaldo fatwa is back on with a bang baby. A less-than-inspiring turn against Celtic by the world's greatest player paved the way for a familiar night of family fun in Montrose. Taking advantage of Eamo's new fast-tracking programme that...

Big Pat loses his shape

Big, big Jamie, Brown prepared, Gullit hasn't forgiven Shearer yet. Before United-Everton, Pat "Isosceles" Dolan saw another side to the Toffees' attacking options: "It's the golden triangle, Felliani and Cahill." THE NEW MASSIVE Forget your "top, top players", Jamie dug deep yesterday to...

Jimmy traps Brown in a lift

No losers for Jeff, Sbragia cut open, Silvestre's mickey and David Brady sets GAA guff standard.

Has Jeff Stelling turned into Cyril Farrell?

Stelling's lovely wristy hurlers, Sherwood's bungled break-in, Joanne Cantwell takes pity and more. Has the smooth-talking Jeff Stelling suddenly become football's answer to Cyril "As such, Ger" Farrell? Maybe Jeff has allocated all of his vocabulary to his upcoming Countdown...

Brazil hails Villa’s boy wonder

Magic moment on Talksport as Alan Brazil gets text from moaning Gunner. Employing his trusted technique of engaging mouth mouth before brain, Big Al blustered in with typical   poise. "I wonder how Villa would fare with such injuries. It would...

Italy v Ireland in torrents of guff

George doesn't add up. Eamo's history lesson, Gilesy on new-fangled technology. Eamo was rather pointed at half time after George spent much of the first half trying to convince Jim Beglin that Pazzini had sharpened and swung his elbow with...

Liverpool’s relative success

Smudger risks Scouse wrath and rest of quick one-twos Alan Smith confirms Liverpool have always been a family club: "Liverpool have depended on that inbred discipline." Jamie Redknapp has Ricardo Fuller on the physio's sofa: "I don't know what state of mind his...

Kaka snubs City carrot

What Ricky will miss out on, Ronnie's geography, Welsh woe, Jewell philosophy. Man City's Nedum Onuoha was convinced the prospect of shooting practise with Darius Vassell and Jo will be enough to swing the Kaka deal: "I think we would...

HALL OF GUFF

Eamon Dunphy

Graham Taylor

Kevin Keegan

John Motson

George Hamilton