Saturday, March 25, 2017

Jeff Stelling takes control of Merse’s finances

Nothing changes for Shay Given, Charlie Nicholas is a snake charmer.

Gilesy’s Seanfhocail

It has been a while since Gilesy unveiled another of his litany of footballing sean-fhocail. In truth, this is a body of work notable for its unfamiliarity to anyone but Gilesy himself. Although Today FM marvel Tom Tyrrell remains the undisputed...

Paul Merson ghosts into the guff parade

Kenny Dalglish settles back into the Liverpool way
Eamon Dunphy

Would you let Eamon Dunphy drive the train to Cork?

For those of you that missed it, the night's comi-tragedy in a nutshell. Stan professes admiration for Czech's "post-match partying behaviour" - as Billo delicately put it: "They're a very talented team... and they're very competitive underneath." Apple falls on Stan's head...

2010 in Guff: Perceptive Big Sam Allardyce

50. Perry Groves ploughed through the language barrier: "Robert Mancini's got that Italian style, the old joie de vivre." 49. Alan Brazil derailed United's title challenge: "Manchester United started like a train on fire." 48. Dwight Yorke went in hard: "It's very hard to...

Week in Guff: Ronnie Whelan gets to bottom of Riise power

Football Focus on Saturday provided the clearest evidence yet what damage a lifetime of heading the ball can do to the brain. According to Martin Keown, this is... "... the strongest Everton squad you can ever remember." Tell that...

The Gospel according to Lawro

Ray Hudson destined for Hollywood, Bobby Gould saves it for the bedroom

Red Tom Tyrrell and co ride on

Some of the choice cuts this week from the DH Fine Emporium of Guff Phil Thommo using his mangerial nous to get in the head of Juande Ramos: "He's put Zokora in there to look at maybe long-short term." Red Tom Tyrrell...

Guff latest – Souey chops down rolling Arsenal

Gilesy's Dream Team a little Kenny-centric and lots more guff

Mystic Lawro predicts

Merse repeats, Charlie lost in Europe, Cottee bored, Dan in Leitrim spot on. With no gossip at his disposal now that footballers are afraid to tell him anything, Lawro's latest trick is to predict the unpredictable: "They (West Ham) are unpredictable...

Harkes finishes his thesis

Tony Cas heals Rooney but Richard Keys squeamish. Merse works on.

Merse ploughs on as Eamo turns again

Handsome new addition to Merse's fledgling lingo: "Pizarro's tried to be greedy and he's done the Sunday roast. Goal kick." Liverpool would never have trouble qualifying if Ray Houghton was in charge. "Last three games of the group, 15 points, absolutely fantastic." You...

The Ronaldo fatwa reignited

And in some style by Gilesy; "Marilyn Monroe was the greatest star in the world but she was never known as a great actor. Ronaldo is like that."


Eamon Dunphy

Graham Taylor

Kevin Keegan

George Hamilton

John Motson