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	<title>Football quotes, humour and opinions - dangerhere.com &#187; Collections</title>
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		<title>Tony Cascarino heads the 2009 guff parade</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/tony-cascarino-quotes-of-the-year/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/tony-cascarino-quotes-of-the-year/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Dec 2009 02:09:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chris waddle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Darragh Maloney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Harry Redknapp]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jimmy Magee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pal Mitchell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paul Merson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tony Cascarino]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1740</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[All the best quotes of the year from 50 down to number 1. Jimmy Magee and Paul Merson feature heavily.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Radio Ga-Ga</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/radio-ga-ga/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/radio-ga-ga/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:43:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[radio quotes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1634</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[They say a picture paints a thousand words. And while there are many that wish the likes of Motty would take greater heed of the maxim, it stands to reason that your average radio commentator or pundit must be called upon to produce added verbiage by the ton in lieu of pictorial evidence. Little wonder then that the radio was once the spiritual home of guff. It certainly produced the landmark sporting gaffe of our time. The England – West Indies test series of 1976 provided the backdrop. Brian Johnston was at the mic and Peter Willey and Michael Holding were poised at the crease. The likes of David Baddiel will die trying before they could write what followed: &#8220;The bowler&#8217;s Holding, the batsman&#8217;s Willey.&#8221; While living up to those standards represents – as they&#8217;d say themselves – a big ask, the football commentators have not been slow to step up to the plate.  You&#8217;ve got cranky Alan Green, excitable Jonathan Pearce, sensible Mick Ingham, and lyrical Stuart Hall and his jockstraps full of dynamite. And then there&#8217;s Tom Tyrrell, the Mancunian nonsense factory that blows everyone away. In Fever Pitch, Nick Horby described listening to football on the radio thus: &#8220;Football reduced to its lowest common denominator. Shorn of the games aesthetic pleasures, or the comfort of the crowd that feels the same way as you, or the sense of security that you get when you see that your defenders and your goalkeeper are more or less where they should be, all that is left is naked fear.&#8221; He was nearly right. Fear and guff. Top 10 slices of Radio Guff 10. &#8220;Fifty thousand here tonight, but it sounds like fifty two thousand.&#8221; Bryon Butler 9. &#8220;Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don&#8217;t forget, the best caller wins a crate of John Smith&#8217;s&#8221; Alan Brazil 8. &#8220;What will you do when you leave football, Jack &#8211; will you stay in football?&#8221; Stuart Hall 7. &#8216;Neil Sullivan has stopped absolutely everything have thrown at him&#8230; Wimbledon 1, Manchester United 1.&#8217; Mike Ingham 6. &#8220;He&#8217;s only a foot away from the linesman &#8211; or should I say a metre, in modern parlance&#8221; Jimmy Armfield 5. &#8220;Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.&#8221; Peter Jones 4. &#8220;John Moncur has been much more effective since he came on.&#8221; Alan Green 3. &#8220;The trainers weren&#8217;t on the pitch at all&#8230; but of course the referee does have to take into account the minute&#8217;s silence.&#8221; Conor MacNamara .2 “Roy Keane didn’t go through the book with a fine toothbrush&#8217; Tony Cascarino 1. &#8220;We are about as far away from the penalty box as the penalty box is from us.&#8221; Tom Tyrrell]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Carry On Commentating</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/carry-on-commentating-2/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/carry-on-commentating-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:04:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1624</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off! And all that kind of thing.]]></description>
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		<title>Jeff Stelling claims top spot in 2008 Guff Parade</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/the-2008-guff-parade/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/the-2008-guff-parade/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 05:11:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Quotes 2008-2009]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Stelling claims the big prize in top 30 quotes of the year. 30. Jamie Redknapp had Ricardo Fuller on the physio’s sofa: “I don&#8217;t know what state of mind his body is in.&#8221; 29. Chris Kamara discovered an unbelievable rock formation: “There’s a gulf in class that’s a mile wide at either side.” 28. Phil Neville felt Everton were so good he said it twice: “I  think it&#8217;s fair to say we&#8217;re an improving team and a team that&#8217;s getting better.&#8221; 27. Paul Merson didn’t always have ‘unbelievable belief’: “When I was a player, I didn’t have confidence in my own belief.” 26. Ray Wilkins pointed out just how difficult it can be for managers to speak foreign: “It’s the grammar side of things that really do throw you Richard.” 25. Aberdeen’s Jimmy Calderwood paid tribute to his Motherwell counterparts: &#8220;We know it is going to be very difficult because Mark McGhee and Scott Leitch are winners. They showed that last year by finishing third.&#8221; 24. Jimmy Magee was wary of Wayne Rooney’s violent streak; “Normally you’d expect to see him chip or shoot the keeper.” 23. Just what did Lyon’s centre-half ever do to George Hamilton? “You can trace all that back to the sliced clearance from Boumsong, which led to a throw-in, which led to a free-kick, which led to a corner, which led to the goal.” 22. Tim Sherwood hailed Wayne Rooney for extending himself: “He’s carved out such a partnership with Tevez. It’s telescopic at times.” 21. One bad break after another had Birmingham co-owner David Sullivan snookered; “We were unlucky to sign a player from Spain and he played twenty minutes against Liverpool and did a crucible knee ligament.” 20. Garth Crooks would go down a storm at the tribunals; &#8220;Justice is a dish best served cold.&#8221; 19. John Salako put the Premier League on the stage: “He’s already on a yellow card, now he’s treading the boards.” 18. Norwich captain Mark Fotheringham had an unlikely solution to the club’s drinking problems: &#8220;If anyone steps out of line they&#8217;ll get hammered.&#8221; 17. Paul Merson pondered the meaning of it all: “Next year don’t come.” 16. Andy Townsend worried about tight marking: “Servet is literally, literally right up his backside.” 15. Charlie Nicholas reminded us what’s what: “Priorities come first.” 14. Brian Marwood couldn’t decide about Rafael van der Vaart: &#8220;He&#8217;s not renowned for his trademark headers.&#8221; 13. Nothing got past David Pleat: &#8220;I&#8217;m sure they’re going to bring on a couple of substitutes, probably from the bench.&#8221; 12. Archie McPherson remained baffled by time: &#8220;I wonder just how long these four minutes will last?&#8221; 11. Jason McAteer helped Sky target female viewers: “United have come out in the second half and dropped their gear.” 10. John Motson was harsh but fair: &#8220;Liverpool had two players running on to that, three if you count Dirk Kuyt.&#8221; 9. Linfield manager David Jeffrey wasn’t about to relight the firework chucked by a Cliftonville supporter: &#8220;The last thing I [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Christmas crackers</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/christmas-crackers/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/christmas-crackers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Dec 2008 19:32:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=710</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The guff of Christmas past]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Get an atlas</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/get-an-atlas/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/get-an-atlas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Aug 2006 02:56:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A tribute to football&#8217;s geographically challenged: 10. &#8220;Costacurta, the Portuguese international&#8230; Shevchenko, the Uruguayan international&#8230;&#8221; Trevor Welch 9. &#8220;Newport 0, Wrexham 1. Well done to the Welsh there.&#8221; Radio 2 newsreader 8. &#8220;Romania are more Portuguese than German.&#8221; Barry Venison 7. &#8220;The Belgians will play like their fellow Scandinavians, Denmark and Sweden.&#8221; Andy Townsend 6. &#8220;Chesterfield 1, Chester 1. Another score draw in the local derby.&#8221; Des Lynam 5. &#8220;Ajax have players from all over the world, from Africa, Egypt, Belgium.&#8221; Noel King 4. &#8220;They&#8217;ve given themselves a mountain&#8230;err&#8230; Mount Everest&#8230; which is just around the corner from here.&#8221; John Aldridge was in Basel, Switzerland. 3. &#8220;It’s only a small place Deportivo.&#8221; Mark Lawrenson 2. &#8220;It was like living in a different country.&#8221; Ian Rush on his time at Juventus. 1. &#8220;I&#8217;d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.&#8221; Mark Draper]]></description>
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		<title>Mixed Metaphors</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/mixed-metaphors/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/mixed-metaphors/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Aug 2006 02:53:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[There was only ever going to be one winner: 10. &#8220;In the Scottish Cup you only get one crack at the cherry against Rangers or Celtic.&#8221; Tom Ferrie 9. &#8220;I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.&#8221; Stuart Pearce 8. &#8220;The run of the ball is not in our court at the moment.&#8221; Phil Neal 7. &#8220;The lads have run their socks into the ground.&#8221; Alex Ferguson 6. &#8220;Butcher goes forward as Ipswich throw their last trump card into the fire.&#8221; Byron Butler 5. &#8220;Glenn is putting his head in the frying pan.&#8221; Ossie Ardiles 4. &#8220;Our fans have been branded with the same brush.&#8221; Ron Atkinson 3. &#8220;I was feeling as sick as the proverbial donkey.&#8221; Mick McCarthy 2. &#8220;We could be putting the hammer in Luton&#8217;s coffin.&#8221; Ray Wilkins 1. &#8220;Real Madrid are like a rabbit in the glare of the headlights in the face of Manchester United&#8217;s attacks. But this rabbit comes with a suit of armour in the shape of two precious away goals.&#8221; George Hamilton]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>The Queen&#8217;s English</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/the-queens-english/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/the-queens-english/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Aug 2006 01:09:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
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		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[The top 10 dictionary manglers: 10. &#8220;They haven&#8217;t made many sautées forward.&#8221; Clive Allen 9. All the cul-de-sacs are closed for Scotland. Joe Jordan 8. There is great harmonium in the dressing room. Sir Alf Ramsey 7. &#8220;He&#8217;s not going to adhere himself to the fans.&#8221; Alan Mullery 6. &#8220;Well, I&#8217;ve seen some tackles, Jonathan, but that was the ultimatum.&#8221; Alan Mullery 5. &#8220;You were a hinchpin in midfield.&#8221; Phil Neal 4. &#8220;When he makes a decision, there&#8217;s no arms thrown into the air and no gestating.&#8221; Niall Quinn 3. &#8220;Liverpool will be without Kvarme tonight &#8211; he&#8217;s illegible.&#8221; Jimmy Armfield 2. &#8220;Our first goal was pure textile.&#8221; John Lambie 1. &#8220;Who should be there at the far post but yours truly, Alan Shearer.&#8221; Colin Hendry]]></description>
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