Christmas crackers

The guff of Christmas past:

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Alan Parry quotes

“The first major trophy of the afternoon will be decided later.”
Alan puts the Carling Cup in its place.

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Get an atlas

A tribute to football’s geographically challenged:

10. “Costacurta, the Portuguese international… Shevchenko, the Uruguayan international…”
Trevor Welch

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Mixed Metaphors

There was only ever going to be one winner:

10. “In the Scottish Cup you only get one crack at the cherry against Rangers or Celtic.”
Tom Ferrie
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The Queen’s English

The top 10 dictionary manglers:

10. “They haven’t made many sautées forward.”
Clive Allen
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Carry on commentating

Ooh matron:

10. “PSV have got a lot of pace up front. They’re capable of exposing themselves.”
Barry Venison
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