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	<title>Football quotes, humour and opinions - dangerhere.com &#187; Funny Old Game</title>
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		<title>European Football betting</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/european-soccer-betting-tips/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/european-soccer-betting-tips/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:37:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Old Game]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[european soccer betting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[football betting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[soccer betting]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[So you&#8217;d like to bet on European football (soccer)?  You&#8217;re not alone. Millions of Euros are put down on European football matches every year.  Thanks to online sportsbooks, anyone can get in on the action. It&#8217;s just as easy as playing Holdem at Full Tilt Poker. Before you start though, it s a good idea to know just how European football betting works. Betting on Football If you&#8217;ve bet on American football before, you probably have an idea of how sports betting goes. In American football, one team is favored by a certain number of points. This number is called the point spread. If that team wins by more than that many points, a bet on that team wins. If it does not, a bet on the other team wins. Another way of betting on American football is the money line. If Team A is -140 and Team B is +120, it means Team A is the favorite, and you have to wager $140 on Team A to win $100. Team B is the underdog, and you can bet $100 on them to win $120. But these methods do not quite work for European football. Betting on European Football The problem with betting on European football is that goal differentials even for big mismatches can be quite small. Giving almost any team a two goal advantage is too much of an edge. This makes a point spread system unworkable. The money line becomes a problem too because of the prevalence of draws. The solution is a European football money line that takes draws into account. European Football Lines That being the case, a European football line looks something like this: Manchester United -210, Draw +120, Chelsea +160. This means that to bet on Man United you would have to wager $210 to win $100,  while a bet on Chelsea to win would net you $160 for a $100 bet. If you believe the game will end in a tie, you can bet the draw, which would win you $120 for your $100 wager. It&#8217;s important to remember that since you can bet on the draw, a bet on one of the teams will lose if the game ends tied; it will not be a push as it might be in some other sports where there is no draw option.]]></description>
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		<title>Outside Left: Phileas Beckham feeling the pace</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/outside-left-phileas-beckham-feeling-the-pace/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Aug 2007 09:53:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave Odell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Old Game]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[We start in Lithuania with the owner of Scottish side Heart of Midlothian FC, Vladimir Romanov. While considered a hard-nosed wheeler-dealer in his business life, he is now showing off a more sensitive side of his personality as he prepares to star in Dance With A Star, a ballroom-based celebrity game show on the leading Lithuanian channel LNK. Romanov has teamed up with professional dancer Sandra Kniazevičiūtė and they can be seen training together in an empty stadium in a promotion video. Poor Becks Former skipper David Beckham looked decidedly off the pace at Wembley &#8211; unsurprising given his bid to emulate Phileas Fogg by going around the world in 80 hours. Becks must have looked like &#8216;Mr Big&#8217; in Snatch as he zig-zagged back and forth across the Atlantic. Things finally came to a head when he squared up to a Chivas player during LA Galaxy&#8217;s 3-0 defeat, prompting several thousand concerned moms in the stadium to coo: &#8220;Awww, he&#8217;s tired.&#8221; Men in Black – The Final Whistle The men in the middle were taking centre stage as one disastrous decision followed another. First were Andy D&#8217;Urso and his linesman, who between them failed to notice that there was enough space to drive a bus between the ball and the goal-line when ruling out David Healy&#8217;s equaliser for Fulham against Middlesbrough. But Rob Styles, who gave Chelsea a penalty when Florent Ramouda threw himself into Steve Finnan and then tumbled to the floor as if he had been hit by a train, eclipsed even that. Styles had the good grace to accept his error upon seeing TV replays, but even Bill Clinton was forced to come clean when presented with the evidence on that dress. Things went from bad to worse for the hapless official as a one-match ban was followed by revelations that his company paved the driveway of Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich &#8211; cue &#8216;Rob the Builder!&#8217; headlines in The Sun. Silly season has arrived early in north London. Manager Martin Jol had the temerity to lose the first two games of the new campaign and quick as you can say &#8220;the rain in Spain falls mainly on the Lane,&#8221; Sevilla coach Juande Ramos was being lined up to replace him, claiming he&#8217;d had a &#8220;dizzying&#8221; offer to take over the reins. Chairman Daniel Levy denied everything, insisting he was backing his popular manager. Jol, meanwhile, kept his cool throughout.&#8221;If anyone thinks there&#8217;s going to be a new boss at Tottenham, then I&#8217;m a Dutchman,&#8221; he drawled. Did You Know&#8230; &#8230;Neil Warnock is a qualified referee. On a recent TV show he said “The difference between the referees and me is that they know the rules like me, but they do not know the game and you have to play the game to understand it. Most refs will get it right, but when they have to make a decision on the game they let themselves down because they do not understand it.”]]></description>
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		<title>All change in Manchester</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/all-change-in-manchester/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/all-change-in-manchester/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Aug 2007 07:47:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave Odell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Old Game]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Dave Odell rounds up the week&#8217;s funny football stories Mixed up in Manchester Something of a twilight zone has been set up around Manchester. It has usually been fairly easy to distinguish between Manchester City FC and their local rivals Manchester United FC, right? Well, new City manager Sven-Göran Eriksson was addressing a press conference to welcome new signing Valeri Bojinov, when he turned to the Bulgarian forward and asked: &#8220;Why did you want to join Manchester United?&#8221; A simple slip? Perhaps, but another of Eriksson&#8217;s new boys Rolando Bianchi was picked up from his hotel he instructed his driver to take him to the Carrington training ground. Where indeed he was duly taken, slightly strange as that is United&#8217;s training ground, though in his defence. it is just next to City&#8217;s. Frank Sinatra raises high hopes In the week that Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra had a warrant issued for his arrest by Thailand&#8217;s supreme court, City fans took him to their hearts by nicknaming him Frank Sinatra &#8211; and if their current form continues they&#8217;ll have High Hopes of finishing in a Champions League spot. And another woman caught up in Sven&#8217;s world Christina Tambaros, 17-years-old, received a text offering her an Inter Milan player for free, not to mention several messages congratulating her on getting the Man City job. After making a few inquiries, the puzzled student realised she&#8217;d been assigned Sven-Goran Eriksson&#8217;s old mobile telephone number after he quit the England post. She said: &#8220;I wasn&#8217;t surprised when I saw Sven was saying no-one had rung him, they ring me. I&#8217;m hoping David Beckham texts me soon.&#8221; Such a WAG After Roy Keane claimed players weren&#8217;t coming to Wearside because their wives didn&#8217;t like the shops up there, the reigning Miss Sunderland, Carly Auld, decided to speak out for womankind on national television. She declared: &#8220;It&#8217;s every girl&#8217;s dream to be a WAG. All girls look up to them and and want to follow in their footsteps.&#8221; Over at Cardiff The new, well old, Cardiff City strike force of Robbie Fowler and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink will surely be dubbed Darby and Joan. Neither will be playing at the weekend due to &#8216;injury&#8217; and &#8216;late registration&#8217;. Could the real reason be that the team coach has not yet been fitted with a wheelchair ramp? Granada revolts Carlos Marsá formed Club Granada 74 to take over CF Ciudad de Murcia&#8217;s vacated Segunda División slot for this season but his plans were hit by the local council&#8217;s refusal to allow the team access to the Estadio de los Cármenes, home to the existing senior Granada clubs. So Marsá went on hunger strike, declaring. &#8220;People may not like what I&#8217;m doing but the methods we&#8217;ve used up to now haven&#8217;t worked. I&#8217;m not hurting anyone, only myself&#8230; If I have to go I will go straight upstairs. I&#8217;m 59 years old, not 18.&#8221; However, he called off his action two days later after an offer from south coast town Motril, [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Football, Fifteen Years On</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/football-fifteen-years-on/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/football-fifteen-years-on/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Aug 2007 15:20:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom's Sporting Almanac</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Old Game]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[When football was invented in 1992 by a brave, visionary group of television executives, none of them could possibly have foreseen the juncture at which we now find ourselves, on the cusp of the sixteenth season of what those founding fathers lovingly called &#8216;the Premiership&#8217;. Looking back on those days is like watching footage of the Wright Brothers first successful flight: how did this unlikely contraption, firstly, stay airborne, and then, eventually, soar? Back in 1992 most of the early footballers were actually British or Irish, and all the clubs were owned by British people &#8211; sounds ridiculous, I know, but check the record books if you don&#8217;t believe me. Quite how the humble but ambitious TV men persuaded millions to watch what must have been horrifyingly unsophisticated football, practised by podgy, ale-quaffing Brits rather than lithe, pasta-slurping foreigners is unfathomable now. But here we are, 15 years later, and this thing called football is better than ever. We know this because the TV people (now called Sky) are paying £1.314 billion of lovely cash to show it to us, and other TV people called Setanta are paying £392 million to show us even more of it, and people from foreign places (where the footballers come from) are paying £625 million to show it to other people from foreign places (presumably so they can learn how to be footballers when they grow up). Some people &#8211; you can&#8217;t please everyone! &#8211; don&#8217;t like how great football is now. They think it&#8217;s a bad thing that, say, Pol Pot, could, of an afternoon, after a morning spent pottering around massacring a few hundred thousand bourgeois intellectuals, fetch up with his life savings and buy himself an Everton or a Derby County. A bad thing? They wouldn&#8217;t be saying that when Pol Pot&#8217;s investment secures a tidy little £16 million deal with add-ons for Steed Malbranque! Some people &#8211; honestly, I know, but we live in a democracy, what can you do? &#8211; don&#8217;t like how all the lovely footballers get all the lovely cash. Duh, hello? Have you seen Footballers Cribs? How could you possibly expect Robbie Savage to maintain that wonderful home on anything less than £40,000 a week? Could Sheree Murphy have had that 360 degree mirror in her downstairs toilet on an Emmerdale salary, without Harry Kewell chipping in with the few quid for housekeeping? Some of these people &#8211; were Pol Pot&#8217;s methods so wrong? &#8211; even think that the TV people put too much football on, which is ridiculous, given that a) as we know, the TV people invented football, you cricket-loving pinkos, so they can do what they like!&#8230;..and b) have you seen the telly lately? It&#8217;s rubbish! Even Big Brother is crap this year. And it&#8217;s either that or bloody CSI! More football please! Yes indeed, fifteen years on from the birth of football, and what a fine young adolescent it has become! Not surly, irresponsible, strange-smelling, pock-marked with unsightly boils, vaguely repulsive and [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Gaffers under thumb, but not Prince. Becks benched</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/gaffers-under-thumb-but-not-prince-becks-benched/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/gaffers-under-thumb-but-not-prince-becks-benched/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Aug 2007 13:29:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave Odell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Old Game]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[The new soccer season is upon us with the major European leagues just starting &#8211; and the anticipation is bigger than ever before. Will we recognise the players, or even be able to pronounce their names? But there is one thing that will stay the same and has already started in earnest. The Fergie and Jose show Apparently Sir Alex Ferguson was even more red-faced than usual when he explained why he would be absent from the games against Gretna and Dunfermline. Lady Ferguson insisted that he helped her to move house &#8220;I told her I had a match but she wasn&#8217;t having any of it,&#8221; he confessed. Now we know whose hair-dryer he&#8217;s been borrowing all these years. Good job she did, if he&#8217;d gone along to the games he wouldn&#8217;t have known where he&#8217;d moved to would he?, All of this must be music to the ears of rival-in-chief Jose Mourinho. Although isn&#8217;t that the same Jose Mourinho who dashed out of Chelsea&#8217;s player-of-the-year dinner after taking a call from his wife regarding their distressed Yorkshire Terrier? Bench it like Beckham On the subject of soccer men under the thumb, David Beckham&#8217;s Hollywood honeymoon appears to be over after LA Galaxy fans booed him for daring to still be injured a whole four weeks after joining them. Opposition supporters have delighted in the backlash, with Toronto and Dallas fans carrying flags into their stadium bearing the legend interesting, but unprintable phrases, and items of clothing. He has also come under fire for his eating habits after being photographed in a burger bar. If his fall from grace in the fickle world of Laa-Laa land continues it won&#8217;t be long before he&#8217;s asking: &#8220;Do you want fries with that?&#8221;, although not to Posh of course. And on the other foot Boateng favours Spurs over wife The 20-year-old German midfielder got married two days after signing from Hertha Berlin but got straight into pre-season preparations rather than go away with his wife Jenny. Boateng has promised her a honeymoon next summer, by which time he hopes Spurs will be established in the top four of the Premier League. One of his tattoos is of his wife carrying a gun, and he joked: &#8220;It was when I told her the honeymoon was in Tottenham!&#8221; Soccer Shorts Fulham defender Moritz Volz almost missed a pre-season trip to Brighton because he got stuck in the toilet for 40 minutes. He was eventually rescued his cleaner found him. Fulham defender Moritz Volz almost missed a pre-season trip to Brighton because he got stuck in the toilet for 40 minutes. He was eventually rescued his cleaner found him.Reading FC striker Leroy Lita looks to be out for the first three weeks of the Premier League season. Having been in free-scoring pre-season form, he has now suffered a Leg muscle injury after, er, stretching in bed. Not here for the beer The appointment of Dimitar Penev to the helm of the Bulgarian national team was almost [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Transfer twists</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/transfer-twists/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/transfer-twists/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:13:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Beith</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Old Game]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Lets be honest everyone loves the speculation of the transfer market, you know the type of thing, which players are going where, how much they&#8217;re going to cost, how often they&#8217;ll say &#8220;This is the only club I&#8217;ve ever wanted to play for!&#8221; Transfers are a big part of the game and the transfer market is great for throwing up the odd surprise or two. Recently we&#8217;ve had the long running Tevez affair where there have been more twists than a 1960&#8242;s disco with someone claiming to own the players commercial rights, another his playing rights, and unbelievably another his intellectual rights. (I mean I can believe the first two, but who seriously expects anyone to believe a footballer has any intellect what so ever?) The money spent on transfers by Premiership clubs seems to increase every year too. I mean who&#8217;d have thought a Scottish goalkeeper would ever cost £9m? With their past track record it would seem more likely to have been 9 Scottish goalkeepers for a Million pounds-but that&#8217;s the unpredictability of the transfer market and why it&#8217;s so fascinating for many fans. But when you compare transfers in Britain to other parts of the world they look normal compared to the bizarre dealings that go on elsewhere. Recently in Romania, second division side Minerul Placed their goalkeeper and star player on the transfer list, not for Millions of Euro&#8217;s, oh no!&#8230;they want a gas pipeline!! The owner of Minerul wants a pipeline for the town which currently has no direct gas supply. In another amazing Romanian second division transfer deal a defender was sold for 15 kilos of sausages -it&#8217;s not known if Jan Molby has returned to management in Bucharest. So the next time you&#8217;re watching a player thinking &#8220;Why did we buy him, he&#8217;s not worth a bucket of horse manure&#8221; just remember… in Romania he probably is!]]></description>
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		<title>The Croke Park Phrasebook</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/the-croke-park-phrasebook/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/the-croke-park-phrasebook/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 May 2005 02:13:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Old Game]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Fair play to Marty Morrissey and the lads for throwing open the doors. Surely the least the football community can do in return is make some effort not to sully the sacred sod with our Ole Ole-ing, our Mexican waving, our booing and our sundry other Tan habits. This is an arena, we must remember, where the most complex spectator anthem thus far sung comprises the unforgettable lyrics, &#8220;Tipp! Tipp! Tipp! Tipp!&#8221; And while there may be limited opportunities to roar &#8220;pull hard, he&#8217;s no relation&#8221;, we can make some effort to purge our matchday lingo of Anglo Saxon staples like &#8220;play the channels&#8221;, &#8220;woahhh you&#8217;re shitttttt ahhhhhh&#8221; and &#8220;who are ya, who are ya&#8221;. Instead, in an attempt to extend a hand of friendship to our new hosts, let&#8217;s do our best to speak their language while availing of their hospitality. Here are some helpful hints to get you started: Greeting an enterprising debut: &#8220;Jaysus, young McGeady is a good yoke. Is this his first year out of Minor?&#8221; On learning bad news of domestic form: &#8220;I heard that useless hoor Carr was cleaned out last Sunday above in Cardiff. The lad of the van Nistelrooys took him for two goals from play.&#8221; Handling the suspense of simultaneous internationals: &#8220;Have you the wireless Mattie? I hear Switzerland were batin&#8217; Cyprus out the gate at half time.&#8221; What to do when a blow-in lines out: &#8220;I can&#8217;t place him. Is he a nephew of TJ Morrison of Gort? He has the go of him alright. They say TJ was the first man up to the top of Keeper Hill eight years running.&#8221; Looking on the bright side: &#8220;The long fella of the Dohertys is a bit of a mullocker but sure he&#8217;s a good man to put in to bust up the play.&#8221; Noting a lack of zest from a participant: &#8220;Mother of Holy Saint Patrick, don’t be standing back from it Holland. You&#8217;re at nottin&#8217; in there.&#8221; Dispensing advice during a goalmouth scramble: &#8220;Pull, pull agin! Pull agin! Pull agin!&#8221; Greeting an early reducer: &#8220;Stop the lights! That&#8217;ll soften the bollox&#8217;s cough for him.&#8221; The hurler on the ditch: &#8220;What in the name a jaysus is Kilbane at? He wouldn&#8217;t kick spuds to chickens.&#8221; Talking tactics: &#8220;The thing is Mossy, and tis only my opingun, but if you put Duff out wing forward, you&#8217;re still short of scoring forwards inside.&#8221; Reminiscing on fallen heroes: &#8220;The bollox was fond of bacon but at the same time Harte is a big loss from placed balls.&#8221; Revisiting dietary patterns: &#8220;A drop of Dutch Gold? No, you&#8217;re grand Anto. Sure I have a bottle of tea for the sangwiches.&#8221;]]></description>
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