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	<title>Football quotes, humour and opinions - dangerhere.com &#187; Institute of Commentating</title>
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		<title>Radio Ga-Ga</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/radio-ga-ga/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/radio-ga-ga/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:43:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[radio quotes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1634</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[They say a picture paints a thousand words. And while there are many that wish the likes of Motty would take greater heed of the maxim, it stands to reason that your average radio commentator or pundit must be called upon to produce added verbiage by the ton in lieu of pictorial evidence. Little wonder then that the radio was once the spiritual home of guff. It certainly produced the landmark sporting gaffe of our time. The England – West Indies test series of 1976 provided the backdrop. Brian Johnston was at the mic and Peter Willey and Michael Holding were poised at the crease. The likes of David Baddiel will die trying before they could write what followed: &#8220;The bowler&#8217;s Holding, the batsman&#8217;s Willey.&#8221; While living up to those standards represents – as they&#8217;d say themselves – a big ask, the football commentators have not been slow to step up to the plate.  You&#8217;ve got cranky Alan Green, excitable Jonathan Pearce, sensible Mick Ingham, and lyrical Stuart Hall and his jockstraps full of dynamite. And then there&#8217;s Tom Tyrrell, the Mancunian nonsense factory that blows everyone away. In Fever Pitch, Nick Horby described listening to football on the radio thus: &#8220;Football reduced to its lowest common denominator. Shorn of the games aesthetic pleasures, or the comfort of the crowd that feels the same way as you, or the sense of security that you get when you see that your defenders and your goalkeeper are more or less where they should be, all that is left is naked fear.&#8221; He was nearly right. Fear and guff. Top 10 slices of Radio Guff 10. &#8220;Fifty thousand here tonight, but it sounds like fifty two thousand.&#8221; Bryon Butler 9. &#8220;Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don&#8217;t forget, the best caller wins a crate of John Smith&#8217;s&#8221; Alan Brazil 8. &#8220;What will you do when you leave football, Jack &#8211; will you stay in football?&#8221; Stuart Hall 7. &#8216;Neil Sullivan has stopped absolutely everything have thrown at him&#8230; Wimbledon 1, Manchester United 1.&#8217; Mike Ingham 6. &#8220;He&#8217;s only a foot away from the linesman &#8211; or should I say a metre, in modern parlance&#8221; Jimmy Armfield 5. &#8220;Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.&#8221; Peter Jones 4. &#8220;John Moncur has been much more effective since he came on.&#8221; Alan Green 3. &#8220;The trainers weren&#8217;t on the pitch at all&#8230; but of course the referee does have to take into account the minute&#8217;s silence.&#8221; Conor MacNamara .2 “Roy Keane didn’t go through the book with a fine toothbrush&#8217; Tony Cascarino 1. &#8220;We are about as far away from the penalty box as the penalty box is from us.&#8221; Tom Tyrrell]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Carry On Commentating</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/carry-on-commentating-2/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/carry-on-commentating-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:04:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1624</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off! And all that kind of thing.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Alan Parry</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/alan-parry-quotes/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/alan-parry-quotes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Oct 2007 14:47:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Commentators]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;The first major trophy of the afternoon will be decided later.&#8221; Alan puts the Carling Cup in its place. “Cleland was the victim of his own downfall.” Landed badly? “Villa will probably play a lot worse than this and lose.” They surely will. “That&#8217;s referee Mike Reed&#8217;s 50th booking of the season, which works out at an average of six a game.” Don’t forget to carry the two, Alan. “Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season.” Or indeed the one. “Liverpool are currently halfway through an unbeaten twelve-match run.” That’s better. &#8220;The Liverpool players are passing the cup down the line like a new born baby. Although when they are back in the dressing room they will probably fill it with champagne, something you should never do to a baby.&#8221; Parry is the responsible one in his household. “He will probably wake up after having sleepless nights thinking about that one.” Not the baby, hopefully. “The ball was literally glued to the back of his foot &#8211; into the back of the net.” That’s one packet of glue we’d take back to the shop. “He had no chance of beating Schmeichel from there, but it was always worth a try.” Raising a glass to the art to futility. “Lampard, as usual, arrived in the nick of time, but it wasn&#8217;t quite soon enough.”Might as well have taken his time.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Get an atlas</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/get-an-atlas/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/get-an-atlas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Aug 2006 02:56:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/get-an-atlas/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A tribute to football&#8217;s geographically challenged: 10. &#8220;Costacurta, the Portuguese international&#8230; Shevchenko, the Uruguayan international&#8230;&#8221; Trevor Welch 9. &#8220;Newport 0, Wrexham 1. Well done to the Welsh there.&#8221; Radio 2 newsreader 8. &#8220;Romania are more Portuguese than German.&#8221; Barry Venison 7. &#8220;The Belgians will play like their fellow Scandinavians, Denmark and Sweden.&#8221; Andy Townsend 6. &#8220;Chesterfield 1, Chester 1. Another score draw in the local derby.&#8221; Des Lynam 5. &#8220;Ajax have players from all over the world, from Africa, Egypt, Belgium.&#8221; Noel King 4. &#8220;They&#8217;ve given themselves a mountain&#8230;err&#8230; Mount Everest&#8230; which is just around the corner from here.&#8221; John Aldridge was in Basel, Switzerland. 3. &#8220;It’s only a small place Deportivo.&#8221; Mark Lawrenson 2. &#8220;It was like living in a different country.&#8221; Ian Rush on his time at Juventus. 1. &#8220;I&#8217;d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.&#8221; Mark Draper]]></description>
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		<title>Mixed Metaphors</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/mixed-metaphors/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/mixed-metaphors/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Aug 2006 02:53:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[There was only ever going to be one winner: 10. &#8220;In the Scottish Cup you only get one crack at the cherry against Rangers or Celtic.&#8221; Tom Ferrie 9. &#8220;I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.&#8221; Stuart Pearce 8. &#8220;The run of the ball is not in our court at the moment.&#8221; Phil Neal 7. &#8220;The lads have run their socks into the ground.&#8221; Alex Ferguson 6. &#8220;Butcher goes forward as Ipswich throw their last trump card into the fire.&#8221; Byron Butler 5. &#8220;Glenn is putting his head in the frying pan.&#8221; Ossie Ardiles 4. &#8220;Our fans have been branded with the same brush.&#8221; Ron Atkinson 3. &#8220;I was feeling as sick as the proverbial donkey.&#8221; Mick McCarthy 2. &#8220;We could be putting the hammer in Luton&#8217;s coffin.&#8221; Ray Wilkins 1. &#8220;Real Madrid are like a rabbit in the glare of the headlights in the face of Manchester United&#8217;s attacks. But this rabbit comes with a suit of armour in the shape of two precious away goals.&#8221; George Hamilton]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Queen&#8217;s English</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/the-queens-english/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/the-queens-english/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Aug 2006 01:09:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chef</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Collections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Institute of Commentating]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/the-queens-english/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The top 10 dictionary manglers: 10. &#8220;They haven&#8217;t made many sautées forward.&#8221; Clive Allen 9. All the cul-de-sacs are closed for Scotland. Joe Jordan 8. There is great harmonium in the dressing room. Sir Alf Ramsey 7. &#8220;He&#8217;s not going to adhere himself to the fans.&#8221; Alan Mullery 6. &#8220;Well, I&#8217;ve seen some tackles, Jonathan, but that was the ultimatum.&#8221; Alan Mullery 5. &#8220;You were a hinchpin in midfield.&#8221; Phil Neal 4. &#8220;When he makes a decision, there&#8217;s no arms thrown into the air and no gestating.&#8221; Niall Quinn 3. &#8220;Liverpool will be without Kvarme tonight &#8211; he&#8217;s illegible.&#8221; Jimmy Armfield 2. &#8220;Our first goal was pure textile.&#8221; John Lambie 1. &#8220;Who should be there at the far post but yours truly, Alan Shearer.&#8221; Colin Hendry]]></description>
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