HOLLAND V ENGLAND, INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLY

According to that bastion of truth, The Sun, Wayne Rooney has reassured Man U fans he has no plans to leave the club saying,

“I’ve always said I love this club and, as long as I’m wanted here, I’ll play here.”

Of course, it’s impossible to know Mr Rooney’s intentions, but it’s long been the case that when a footballer says he’s not going to leave a club, he does so, at the first available opportunity. And that isn’t the only instance of footballers saying one thing, but meaning something very different. Here are a few of my favourite examples of footballing double-speak, why not share yours in the comments!

He’s a committed player – He goes into tackles with both feet aimed at the other player, not the ball.

He’s a good, solid player – He has absolutely no ability; if he played for us he’d struggle to make the reserves.

They deserved to win – We were robbed! They nobbled us constantly and the ref turned a blind eye.

I don’t mind being left on the bench; it’s all about the team, not me – I’m furious! How dare that idiot of a manager overlook my obvious talents in favour of lesser players.

I’m motivated by my love of football; the money, girls and celebrity lifestyle mean nothing – I kick a ball about a bit and get to live like a prince, you really think I’d swap that for a plumbing job and a place in a pub team?!

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