Eamon Dunphy’s  ‘Conversations with’ series is absent from RTE Radio 1’s autumn schedule  due to the controversial pundit’s eagerness to “focus on football analysis.” We take a closer look at Eamo’s new regime.

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SATURDAY
Flick over to La Liga action at regular intervals during Strictly Come Dancing. Decide that Ronaldo isn’t trying a leg. As half-time round up confirms early Ronaldo quick-fire hat-trick, say to self;  “These are false.”

SUNDAY
Flick through Sunday papers for Bundesliga table. Can’t find it. Presume Bayern are top anyway and remember Luca Toni. Reinforce belief that Bundesliga is crap.

MONDAY
Check out opening credits of MNS. Come over all wistful about that spell with Gilesy at Rovers. Grow angry as recall that European Cup would inevitably have come back to Milltown if it weren’t for the decentskins and blazers.

TUESDAY
TV3 having rights this year means no day of preparation. So that’s an extra 10 minutes in bed. Begin compiling lists for Wednesday’s broadcast. Ring Henry Shefflin for names of other Kilkenny hurlers. Scribble out Bernard Dunne and Ronan O’Gara. Mull over Lewis Hamilton again. Ring back Henry Shefflin who says the bar is higher than Lewis Hamilton, the bar is Michael Schumacher, Niki Lauda, Eddie Kehir.

WEDNESDAY
Intensive day of research tossing coin to decide if there’s something fundamentally wrong with Manchester United. On arrival in Montrose, throw darts at Billo’s Liverpool calendar to decide which player to target. Insua is promptly earmarked as a clown without a brain in his head. Clueless, Bill.

THURSDAY
Elect to spend the evening catching up on Europa League activity to spot the continent’s up and coming sides. So set up Sky Sports News ticker on small telly beside The Racing Channel on plasma. Switch it off when Don Goodman becomes too hard to take. Ring Gilesy who has just finished up with Off The Ball. There are no good sides or good players out there, says Gilesy. Reassured.

FRIDAY
Phew, a rest day. But ultra-professional – ring Gilesy again to get him to go through the zonal defence at corners thing one more time. It’s not easy to explain, Eamon. We’d need a lot more time. Patient Gilesy.

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