Eamon Dunphy


George has now taken to counting chickens even after they have failed to hatch:

“The United States have indeed secured another famous World Cup victory over England.”

Gilesy has been writing off William Gallas for some time:
“He’s just got to the halfway line and kicked the bucket. Well, he didn’t kick the bucket.”


Craig Burley  gives Franck Ribery something to chew on:

“He’s not the flavour of a lot of peoples’ eye.”


Rob Green’s confusion is slow to clear:

“It didn’t feel like an international game except for the names of the teams in the country sense.”

Kevin Keegan has his own theory:

“He is still green as far as goalkeeping goes.”

Eamo always hurts that little bit more that the rest of us, baby:

“We’ll hear all about England’s 46 years of hurt.”

At least brave JT was able to put the nation’s mind at ease:

“I can assure you that we are going to hopefully qualify from the group.”


Eamo arrived from Planet Football:

“The gravity of the ball is hugely important.”

Before quickly taking his leave again:

“I’m at 5000 feet all the time.”


Wondering why Ronnie Whelan’s management career petered out?

“Most people in the first game go out to not win the game.”

Damian Richardson felt South Korea were being ridden rock solid:

“Greece look like they’re going with a 4-4-3.”

Stephen Alkin calculated the OZ shortcomings, but refused to show his workings:

“Australia have to raise their game by at least 20 percent.”


“Hello, hello, hello, one, two, three, hello, hello hello, can you hear me?”

Yes, we can Stephen Alkin

“Will we get a cue or not?”

Guess not, Lawro.

Meanwhile, Billo is losing interest already:

“Algeria and Slovenia play tomorrow at 12 o’clock or something like that.”


Eamo had been up early to watch Tomas O’Leary in action:

Gilesy: “Terry just kicks the ball up the pitch. What do you call it when you give away the ball in rugby?”

Dunphy: “Scrum-half.”


Graeme Souness was quick to wade into murky racial waters:

“I think that’s a natural thing if you’re from that part of the world, you can dance.”

Eamo always fights one racial stereotype with another:

“You can’t dance in Scotland in case your wallet falls out.”

Liam Brady turned on the Uruguayans:

“They’re Latins and they make lots of fouls.”

In the absence of Mandela, it was up to Gilesy to speak for a continent:

“The black people love their football.”

According to Peter Drury, a lot of local strife could have been solved by a routine clearance from a corner:

“South Africa have liberated themselves now.”


Old sage Ray Houghton tells “young lad learning the game” Cacau (29) not to be picking up needless yellow cards.


Souness wonders about the aftermath of a spontaneous combustion:

“They gotta start getting Rooney on the ball, or else his head will blow off, then anything could happen.”

Clive Tyldesley was sure someone was about to be pulled off:

“Crouch is being stripped & readied.”

Jonathan Pearce frightens the children:

“Yakubu, totally alone, gobbled up.”


Martin Tyler warns Ghana away from his baking:

“They’d love a goal to put the icing on the cake they already seem to be eating.”

Steve McManaman calls for youth:

“There’s a real lack of inexperience in the South African team.”

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