FAMILY BUSINESS

David Pleat always knocked before entering the famous Anfield bootroom:

“And there is Sammy Lee, another inbred Liverpool man”.

TAILBONE OF THE UNEXPECTED

With Uncle Rico safely back on the touchline, George Hamilton cut loose during Sligo-Bohs:

“Bryan Shelley with a problem with his coccyx, which brings to mind the grandmother in Napoleon Dynamite, who broke hers out on a motorbike on the dunes.”

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

In marked contrast to this giddiness, George was on a pessimistic buzz for Slovakia-Ireland.

“Not much to distinguish it,” he moaned, fully 36 seconds in.

HUMAN TRIUMPH

Bobby Gould is amazed at the progress Brighton have made with the Withdean Stadium, considering the good Lord neglected to include it in his original seven-day construction drive:

“It’s amazing, you come to this ground and it’s all man-made virtually, the stands and everything.”

LITTLE BIT OF HANDBAGS

Even under Capello’s reign, Alan Brazil is convinced the WAGs still retain some influence around the England camp:

“Rio Ferdinand has reclaimed the captain’s armbag from Steven Gerrard.”

STATE OF THE NATION

An unimpressed Charlie Nicholas tells Craig Levein what’s what:

“You are, after all, our national coach, which represents a country.”

TONGUES WAGGING

As if Karl Henry hasn’t had enough bad publicity, Paul Merson has been spreading rumours again:

“Over the last few weeks, he’s been on the end of everybody’s tongues.”

REAR VIEW

Duncan White still believes the sun will shine for Wayne:

“Rooney’s passage to greatness is in the hole.”

Which makes Peter Drury’s plans for the Roon all the more worrying:

“It’s time for him to re-explode.”

WE REGRET TO INFORM INTENDING PASSENGERS

Alan Brazil derails United’s title challenge:

“Manchester United started like a train on fire.”

NEWS JUST IN

Lest there remain any lingering doubt, Gilesy confirms…

“Players are only as good as they are.”

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

Steve Bruce wistfully recalls the game’s great artists:

“I’ve never been involved with anyone who’s set out to hurt people, to break legs. It is a bit of a dying art.”

OPPORTUNITY ALWAYS KNOCKS TWICE

Chance is a fine thing for John Harkes:

“There will always be opportunities to get opportunities.”

YOU’LL NEVER SWIM ALONE

Who says the Scousers are self-obsessed? Not Mike Parry:

“If you went to a place called Monkey Mia, which is on the west cost of Australia, up the coast from Perth and you talked to a couple of the dolphins there, swimming around, those dolphins would know Liverpool because Liverpool are a gigantic club.”

QUICK ONE-TWOS

Siobhan Madigan on 2FM believes Italy are getting better at the match fixing:

“Northern Ireland had a credible 0-0 draw”

Viva Bobby Gould:

“Adam Johnson was a revolution when he came on.”

Like most Arsenal fans, Ronnie Whelan has airbrushed Bruce Rioch from their history:

Some of the players he’s (Arsene Wenger) brought into the Premier league have been magnificent; Vieira and Bergkamp

Iain  Dowie creates a monster:

“Eagles curls it in with his left hand foot.”

Brian Flynn tells it like it is:

“Who knows what the future brings, that’ll be decided in the future.”

John Anderson had a theory about Charles N’zogbia’s left-footed strike:

“It’s the kind of goal only left footers can score, Mick.”

Spotter’s badges to @ryan24, @MFUSA

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