Tired of eking a frugal living from sitting on the fence, evil, scantily clad villain Trevor Brooking decides instead to become a fence, soon doing a roaring trade in stolen diamonds at his casino in East London.

When malevolent Brooking – aided by assistant Motty – decides to use his ill-gotten jewels to create a deadly laser satellite capable of destroying Sky headquarters in Isleworth, Bond is sent to uncover Brooking’s sinister plot.

Thanks to a tip-off from now reclusive billionaire Big Ron, who uses the same Chartbusters tanning booth as Brooking, Bond is soon hot on Trevor’s trail.

Can he stop the madness before Trev, wellllllll, yeahhhhhhhh, at the end of the day, gets round to mayhem and destruction.