Stan Collymore
ANOTHER FINE MESS
Where do you start with Stan Collymore’s campaign for an expanded Premier League, with no promotion and relegation and qualification based on performance over the last 100 years? Probably with his assertion that:
“…25 teams, 50 games a season.”
LESS IS MORE
Hang on, give Stan a chance to explain himself:
“At the moment, you get two or three good games every weekend, the rest are non-rubbers.”
BALD AMBITION
Graeme Souness runs a fine comb through Liverpool’s defensive problems:
“Reina must be tearing his hair out.”
BARKING
Early on Super Sunday, Jamie Redknapp revealed an amazing transformation:
“In his youth, Michael Owen was literally a greyhound”
PASSPORT CHECK
While Andy Gray blew the lid off Emiliano Insua’s chances of featuring in Maradona’s World Cup plans:
“The young Brazilian has been exposed.”
AS A BLACK CAT
As far as Darren Bent is concerned, fortune favours the fortunate:
“Sometimes you get lucky and luckily enough I did.”
THE REAL SECRET
Forget your Dr Phils, your Deepak Chopras or your Bob Proctors. For words to live by, you never need look further than Paul Merson.
Last season it was the poignant: “Next year don’t come.” On Saturday, the motto du jour was the marvelous: “Come what may is a long way away.”
ROMAN’S A BAD OMEN
Supporters can be hard to please these days. A caller to Talksport doesn’t have a good feeling about Roman Pavlyuchenko:
“I know his statistics are good; 19 goals in 35 games. But he doesn’t bode well.”
ROYLE TREATMENT
ESPN’s Joe Royle has already been carefully analysing performances over the last 100 years:
“Traditionally, left-footed players are very poor on their right side.”
LOOKING FORWARD TO CHRISTMAS
Phil Brown has learned a new word:
“The advent of Anthony Gardner helped us keep a clean sheet… the advent of big squads causes problems for managers.”
BETTER THAN CURE
Jonathan Woodgate carted off with a head injury. Gabby Logan wonders “if it was prevention”.
POKERFACE
Don Hutchinson has yet to entirely get to grips with the tasks facing a pundit:
“Until we get the team news, it’s difficult to predict Sir Alex’s lineup.”
NECK ON THE LINE
Nor was Craig Doyle giving any hostages to fortune on the Late Late Show ahead of Ireland-France:
“Anything could happen and hopefully it will.”
THE SALON
When Billo hears about the hairdryer treatment, does he picture Fergie confiscating Berba’s straighteners at half-time?
Eamo: “Cups would fly and hit the wall.”
Billo: “Hairdryers even.”
SAFE AS HOUSES
Steve Froggatt felt Villa struggled with the double-layer of security at Molineux:
“They need someone to unlock the key to the door.”
TAKE A LETTER
No wonder Hope Powell wants to steer clear of the men’s game. Recall Steve Ryder’s reaction at half time in England-Belarus with several of the England ladies being photographed on the pitch:
“It looks like the FA are honouring their secretaries.”
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