Carlos Queiroz probably felt he’d sacrificed the last of his dignity when he became Fergie’s bitch. How wrong he was.

The sorry episode kicked off when The Peas recorded a message of goodwill for Carlos’ Portugal side, having learned that Ronaldo and co ran out to “I Gotta Feeling”, energised as they were by the David Guetta pop-throbbing beat and buoyed by the evocative message “Tonight’s gonna be a good night.”

So far, so only slightly embarrassing.

Next up, alas, was a  reciprocal gesture from down-with-it Carlos, who gushed:

“The music, the song, the words… brilliant. And you cannot imagine how much they help us move forward with this qualification.”

Before thumping his chest in the style of a lovelorn latin Daniel O’Donnell and declaring “I gotta feeling”.  Marvelous.

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