Bobby Gould has a mare
Bobby Gould isn’t happy with the impact made by mid-season appointments like Brian Laws and Iain Dowie, praising the way Big Ron once groomed Sheffield Wednesday to beat the drop:
“He came in and stabled the club.”
GIVING IT THE FULL GUN
On Premier Soccer Saturday, Matt Holland felt a promising Wigan attack scarcely earned the reward the players involved deserved:
“I think it ends with Diame getting shot.”
MEDICAL BULLETIN
As Ireland’s number one lay stricken on the Emirates turf, Jon Champion anxiously cut back to the ESPN studio for some valuable insight from Kevin Keegan:
“You’ve had experience with Shay Given’s shoulder problems. What happened to it at Newcastle?”
“Yeah, he had a problem with it.”
ALARM BELLS
King Kev went on to pour salt in the wounds of the Diame family:
“As anyone who’s had a shoulder injury will tell you, there is nothing worse.”
Perhaps it would only be fair to concerned friends of Shay Given to point out that this is the man who once told us; “In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.”
WILL HE, WONT HE?
Doctor Equivocal was then pressed on Shay’s recovery chances, with mystery results:
“I will not doubt that he won’t come back.”
LONGHAND
Uneconomical nickname of the week from Bobby Gould at Villa Park:
“McLeishy”
TIRED MINDS
By the time St Pat’s-Sligo had reached injury time, Gabriel Egan was playing from amnesia:
“Ball was blocked or whatever you call it.”
NAMING RIGHTS
No such excuses for Chris Waddle just five minutes into “Arzenal” v Man City:
“Toure showed him the touchline or whatever you want to call it.”
EVERY BLADE OF GRASS
Ronnie Whelan expects a lot from Hugo Lloris:
“To be a great goalkeeper, he needs to work on his crossing.”
NEW BASEMENT
Paul Merson reckoned John Terry’s lunge on Gareth Bale was in a different league:
“I’d expect that in Championship Two.”
INVISIBLE MAN
Dwight Yorke was full of praise for Giggys’ out-of-body spot-kicks:
“Giggs took the penalty as if he wasn’t there.”
THE QUICKEST U-TURN YET?
Eamo relegates Barca from the list of “serious teams”, briefly:
“You can’t win major championships with no defence, although they won the Champions League last year.”
SIGN OF THE TIMES
Today FM’s Live After Five phone-in, 5.50pm on Saturday: “Doug, you’re an Arsenal fan.” “Yeah, I am, big Arsenal fan.”
The time of Arsenal’s kick-off against Manchester City? 5.30pm on Saturday.
Spotter’s badge to onthenickel
QUICK ONE-TWOS
Eamon Dunphy finds his new Harry Kewell:
“Muller looks like he’s won the competition in Tesco to play for Bayern Munich.”
And dismisses Barca’s cheap trick:
“They’re a one-trick pony. The trick is keep possession of the ball, pass the ball beautifully, fantastic movement and they have two great players, Xavi and Messi.”
Merse isn’t sweet on Rafa:
“Liverpool are like a bag of Revels. You never know what you will get with them.”
Graham Taylor dampens expectations:
“Manchester City have scored 14 goals in their last three games, obviously we don’t expect them to do that today.”
Ray Hudson likes Jeffren Suárez opener for Barca:
“Jeffren turns on the wonderful style points here. He slips, he dances, he’s done his disco duck, and then he slots it home.”
He hadn’t finished:
“He’s off to the races, and here’s where the biomechanics come in, like a peregrine falcon.”
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