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	<title>Football quotes, humour and opinions - dangerhere.com &#187; Kate Gilby</title>
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	<link>http://www.dangerhere.com</link>
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		<title>Arshavin&#8217;s excuse falls short</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/arshavins-excuse-falls-short/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/arshavins-excuse-falls-short/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:39:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Andrei Arshavin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1864</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Footballers are not traditionally known for their modesty, so it made a change to read this quote from Arsenal&#8217;s Andrei Arshavin. &#8220;If Arsenal want to become champions, how can they select Arshavin as centre forward?&#8217; &#8216;I am 173cm (5ft 7in) and it suits me, but next to the big centre halves of United it is very difficult to fight for the ball, especially in the air.&#8221; However, I have my doubts about his reasoning, not just because he talks about himself in the third person, but also because not being of Peter Crouch proportions hasn&#8217;t been a problem for any of these people: Shaun Wright-Phillips &#8211; 1.66 metres/5&#8242; 5&#8243; Paul Scholes &#8211; 1.68 metres/5&#8242; 6&#8243; Aaron Lennon &#8211; 1.65 metres/5&#8242; 5&#8243; Diego Maradona &#8211; 1.65 metres/5&#8242; 5&#8243; Gianfranco Zola &#8211; 1.66 metres/5&#8242; 5&#8243; Pele &#8211; 1.72 metres/5&#8242; 7&#8243; All of the above are less tall than Arshavin, and most are considered to be quite good, the obvious exception being Maradona who is a cheating short-arse. So Andrei, you&#8217;re 1cm taller than Pele, yet he is one of the greatest players, ever. I think you need to look elsewhere for an excuse. Know any players who are less tall the Arshavin, share them in comments! (I think I deserve a pat on the back for not making any jokes about his surname &#8230; think about it)]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>12</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Only nice people can play football, apparently</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/only-nice-people-can-play-football-apparently/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/only-nice-people-can-play-football-apparently/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:36:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Terry]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1843</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You can&#8217;t have failed to notice: John Terry is not a footballer, he&#8217;s a very naughty boy. Despite his attempts to block publication of a story about his marital misdemeanours, the press is buzzing with the news that the England captain has been caught canoodling with the former girlfriend of team mate, Wayne Bridge, and the knives are out for him. Leo McKinstry writing in the Mail sums up the mood of certain elements of the press asking, &#8220;Why won&#8217;t soccer&#8217;s spineless chiefs sack John Terry?&#8216;. Well, the obvious answer is because he doesn&#8217;t work for the FA, they don&#8217;t pay his wages and, the last time I checked, they didn&#8217;t pick the team at Chelsea. If Mr McKinstry means why don&#8217;t they drop him from the England team, well, why should they? He&#8217;s been an idiot, but he doesn&#8217;t eat kittens or loiter in Tesco waiting to snatch the last packet of Hob Nobs out of an old lady&#8217;s hand. It may surprise the morally outraged, but footballers are picked for their playing ability, not because they&#8217;re really nice people. If that was the criteria for selection, the England team would be very, very small, and probably still contain Darren Anderton and John Barnes, but never the likes of Gazza. Anyhow, it&#8217;s all very sad, and Wayne Bridge has apparently refused to play alongside Terry. When I heard that it did make me wonder though &#8211; could we introduce JT to Mrs Heskey and Mrs Beckham &#8230;]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Rafa, I think there&#8217;s been a misunderstanding</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/rafa-i-think-theres-been-a-misunderstanding/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/rafa-i-think-theres-been-a-misunderstanding/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Jan 2010 13:40:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rafa Benitez]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1803</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A few posts back I discussed Fergie&#8217;s failure to understand certain words. It seems he&#8217;s not alone, Rafael Benitez is similarly afflicted. We can forgive Rafa because English is not his mother tongue, but I do think someone should explain the definition of the word &#8216;improve&#8217;, and why using the word &#8216;improving&#8217; in relation to Liverpool&#8217;s current progress may be the cause for some amusement. You see Rafa, improve means &#8216;to make better&#8217;, it doesn&#8217;t mean to make everything stay pretty much as it was, or even to make it worse. However, you seem to have mixed it up with &#8216;disintegrate&#8217;, which means something very different. I&#8217;m guessing this misunderstanding has been the underlying problem all along, you were simply on a different page to everyone else. Well, now you know the truth you can get on with the job of &#8216;improving&#8217; and win us a title.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Man United fans: Get rid of the Glazers by cutting off their supply</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/man-united-fans-get-rid-of-the-glazers-by-cutting-off-their-supply/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/man-united-fans-get-rid-of-the-glazers-by-cutting-off-their-supply/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:24:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manchester united]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1766</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A group of Man United fans, Manchester United Supporters Trust, are banding together in opposition to the club&#8217;s owners, the Glazer family. Good for them &#8230; except, I&#8217;m not too sure their tactics are going to work. First up, they want Alex Ferguson to resign. &#8220;He claims to be a socialist&#8221;, says leader of the rebellion, Johnny Flacks. Yes, but so did Tony Blair and we all know how that worked out. Maybe I&#8217;m dense but I&#8217;m missing the connection between socialism and the financial mishandling of a football club. Unless, MUST are planning to nationalise Man U, install Tony Benn as manager and pay all the players minimum wage; a move I&#8217;m sure they&#8217;ll all stick around for! The main problem with their plan though is their second tactic: buying a ticket for the match against AC Milan, but not taking their seats until the game has started. Call me pedantic, but I think they&#8217;re missing the point. If the Glazers are only there for the money, surely it would be better not to give them any in the first place. Just a thought.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Rooney to leave Old Trafford?</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/rooney-to-leave-old-trafford/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/rooney-to-leave-old-trafford/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Jan 2010 15:34:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wayne Rooney]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1749</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Man United plan to sell Wayne Rooney &#8230; oh no hang on a minute &#8230; it&#8217;s ok, don&#8217;t panic! It&#8217;s in the Express, the paper that brings us news about people who claim to have found a likeness of Princess Di in a block of cheese. (Admittedly, if you squint and tilt your head, the accompanying photo does look like Princess Di if she&#8217;d once gone to a fancy dress party disguised as a block of cheese.) I&#8217;m guessing the Express&#8217; football journalists don&#8217;t want to leave the office during this cold snap, and so decided to just make something up. I&#8217;m also guessing that the &#8220;leading sports administrator&#8221; they quote is in fact the office tea boy &#8211; well, he administers tea to sports reporters, therefore he is a sports administrator. Anyhow, here is the headline rewritten to reflect the true status of Rooney at Old Trafford: debt crisis may force Manchester United to sell Rooney, but then again, it may not.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Strapped for cash? Follow the football plan</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/strapped-for-cash-follow-the-football-plan/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/strapped-for-cash-follow-the-football-plan/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Jan 2010 14:14:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1745</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Feeling a bit hard-up after Christmas? Suffering a cashflow problem because of the recession? Fear not, football can help. Follow this proven five point action plan and you&#8217;ll be raking in money in no time. 1) Buy a football club. It&#8217;s unlikely that you&#8217;ll have the resources of Hicks and Gillett, or the Glaziers, but if you band together with a few mates you&#8217;ll surely have enough to snap up a lower-league side. 2) Promise lots of extra money for new players, but make sure you have your fingers crossed behind your back &#8211; everyone knows those promises don&#8217;t count. 3) Use the money that should be spent on players to pay your bills/give jobs to all your family/buy holiday homes in exotic locations. 4) If you&#8217;re still feeling the pinch, sell the players. The club doesn&#8217;t really need them, and anyway, if they were any good they&#8217;d be playing a real sport; maybe that one which is a bit like rugby, but with body armour and a ridiculously over-manned team, but no pace or excitement. Soccer can be played by girls, therefore is not a real sport. 5) If supporters question your actions insult them, as offensively as possible. This may seem rude but don&#8217;t forget, it&#8217;s your (cash cow) club now!]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fergie, the etymologically challenged man</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-the-etymologically-challenged-man/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/fergie-the-etymologically-challenged-man/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jan 2010 13:48:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1744</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Will someone please buy Fergie a dictionary. As we all know he has no concept of time &#8211; in his world there is real time that we all use, and Fergietime, which is rather vague and elastic, and which lasts for as long as he says it does. Now it seems he&#8217;s not too sure about other words. Following Man United&#8217;s FA Cup defeat against Leeds, he said, &#8220;The referee gave five minutes, that is an insult to the game and the players out there&#8221; Erm, no Fergie, that wasn&#8217;t an insult, it was a remarkably long period of extra (Fergie) time following a second half with no major stoppages. I&#8217;m guessing the word insult doesn&#8217;t mean what you think it means. No problem, I&#8217;m happy to help alleviate your confusion. The ref coming over and calling you a pompous windbag Or encouraging the Leeds players to drop their shorts and moon your team Or allowing a gang of Liverpool fans to serenade you with the Man U haters song Or inviting Trinny and Susanna onto the pitch to criticise your lack of sartorial elegance, then grab your man-boobs Or telling you Mrs Ferguson had informed him that not only do you snore, but it&#8217;s somewhat reminiscent of a warthog All the above would be insulting. A referee making a legitimate decision during a football match is not an insult, no matter how much you dislike it. Hope that helps.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Life was grim for the &#8217;90s footballer</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/life-was-grim-for-the-90s-footballer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/life-was-grim-for-the-90s-footballer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Jan 2010 14:10:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Premier League]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1743</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tim Vickery has been sharing his thoughts about Jo, the naughty Everton player who went home to south America for Christmas. According to Tim this was because he wanted to enjoy some sunshine, completely overlooking the fact that he also got to see his family. I&#8217;m sure Tim is right, after all, what kind of weirdo wants to see their own mother during the festive season?! However, Tim did make some good points and the article is worth a read. What made me do a double take was a comment left below the line. &#8220;My belief is that in this day and age footballers are given too much, too young. Back in the day when the 30 somethings such as Lampard, Ballack, Van Nistelrooys were trying to make the grade, they had to work hard to reap rewards.&#8221; Oh yes, life was tough back in the day; Ruud van Nistelrooy had to knit boot laces for the entire Premier League, and young Frank Lampard got up before he went to bed to scrub the stadium, inside and out, with a toothbrush! In one notorious incident, little Michael Owen was found sobbing outside Anfield. Worn down with the strain of being used as Gerard Houllier&#8217;s desk he wailed, &#8220;It&#8217;s ok most of the time, but you ought to see where he keeps his pens&#8221;.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Harry Redknapp, the man who&#8217;d ban Christmas</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/harry-redknapp-the-man-whod-ban-christmas/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/harry-redknapp-the-man-whod-ban-christmas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Dec 2009 14:34:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Harry Redknapp]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1736</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m back &#8211; bet you thought you&#8217;d got rid of me didn&#8217;t you? Ha! But any naysayers might like to remember: I still have the last vestiges of swine flu, so any clever comments and I&#8217;ll come round to your house and share it with you, I&#8217;m generous like that. Plus, it is the season for giving &#8230; although I&#8217;m guessing not in the Redknapp household. &#8220;Everyone knows my views on Christmas parties &#8211; they are more trouble than they&#8217;re worth.&#8221; So said Harry Redknapp following his players unauthorised Christmas knees-up. Apparently, Harry has never liked Christmas. In fact, when son Jamie was a small boy, Harry made a point of blocking up the chimney to prevent the entry of Santa whom he described as a fat, free-loading alcoholic who used Christmas as an excuse to scrounge mince pies and sherry. Later Harry revealed he had been to the Herr Flick school of football management saying: &#8220;They didn&#8217;t ask my permission and they will have to pay the consequences of that.&#8221; Permission to have fun &#8211; that sounds a bit harsh. How does one get permission, are there special forms? And what about the consequences? I&#8217;ve seen fines mentioned but strongly suspect poor Robbie Keane will be spending Christmas day locked up in solitary like Steve McQueen, chewing on a raw Brussels Sprout and wishing he&#8217;d never fallen foul of Herr Harry. Finally, Merry Christmas, I hope you and yours have a wonderful day!]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Someone tell Arsene Wenger Fight Club isn&#8217;t a guide to football management</title>
		<link>http://www.dangerhere.com/someone-tell-arsene-wenger-fight-club-isnt-a-guide-to-football-management/</link>
		<comments>http://www.dangerhere.com/someone-tell-arsene-wenger-fight-club-isnt-a-guide-to-football-management/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:25:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Gilby</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Arsene Wenger]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dangerhere.com/?p=1609</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You can&#8217;t have failed to have noticed that Arsene Wenger has been unleashing his inner egotist again, but if you&#8217;ve just crawled out of a cave: Mr Wenger was so piqued by his side&#8217;s 3-0 Carling Cup defeat by Man City, he stormed into the tunnel refusing to shake the hand of City manager, Mark Hughes. Personally, I don&#8217;t think he gave himself much chance of victory when he chose a team sourced from local primary schools, but what do I know? I&#8217;m just a humble blogger who can&#8217;t hope to understand the workings of such a great manager. However, I suspect that as he strode down the tunnel he was muttering about &#8220;pesky kids&#8221; like a Scooby Doo bad guy. Of course, this isn&#8217;t the first time Arsene has fallen out with Hughes. Back in 2007, it was handbags at dawn between the two when Wenger suggested Hughes&#8217; Blackburn side were &#8220;violent&#8221;, which was somewhat ironic because Hughes isn&#8217;t the only manager he&#8217;s been uppity with. There was Fergie and Pizzagate, coming to blows with Martin O&#8217;Neill, coming to blows with Martin Jol, coming to blows with Alan Pardew &#8230; heck, he even managed to get on the wrong side of jovial, avuncular Sam Allardyce. Beneath that urbane exterior Arsene is obviously a bit mad. In fact, one could say he&#8217;s the Tyler Durden of football management: part mild-mannered sophisticate, part crazy dude who wants to fight, well, anyone. Yes, I did manage to resist the temptation to describe him as arsey.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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